I Won't Let Go
by BlurglesmurfKlaine
Summary: What if Karofsky hadn't stopped at just kissing Kurt? Will Blaine be able to comfort Kurt? Will Klaine overcome the obstacles that come with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and an ongoing Trial? WARNING: STRONG USE OF LANGUAGE/POSSIBLE TRIGGERS
1. Its Like A Storm

(1) I Won't Let Go

It's Like A Storm

Kurt Hummel sat in the corner, his pants still halfway up his legs, tears rolling down his face as he replayed the events that just happened over and over in his mind.

Karofsky had pushed him against a locker. Having had enough, and feeling brave, he decided to follow the bully into the locker room.

*FLASHBACK*

"Hey! You! I am talking yo you!"

"Girls locker room is next door."

"What is your problem huh! WHAT are you so afraid of!"

"Besides you coming in here to take a peek at my junk?"

"Oh yeah! Every straight guys nightmare, that all us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you! Well guess what HamHock? You're NOT my type!"

"That right?"

"Yeah, I don't dig on chubby sweaty guys who are gonna be bald by the time they're thirty!"

"Do not push me Hummel!"

"Why? You gonna hit me? Go ahead. Do it. You can't punch the gay out of me anymore than I can punch the ignoramus out of you!"

"I SAID GET OUTTA MY FACE!"

"YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SCARED LITTLE BOY WHO CAN'T HANDLE HOW EXTRAORDINARILY ORDINARY YOU ARE!"

Karofsky grabbed Kurt's face with both his hands and kissed him intensely for a few horrible seconds. Kurt pushed him away when he tried to go for a second one.

Karofsky grabbed Kurt by his collar and pushed him up against a locker. "David." whispered Kurt as tears streamed down his face. "Think about this... Think about what you're doing..." at this point, Kurt was afraid for his life.

"I told you not to push me..."

He threw Kurt against one of the ceramic walls and he hit his head on the corner with a sickening crack. He was bleeding heavily as he drifted to a place somewhere between unconsciousness and reality.

*END FLASHBACK*

Kurt forced himself not to let his mind venture into the horrid memory of what happened after that. He suddenly heard the door open, footsteps and scattered chatter. Was he coming back to finish what he started? There were multiple footsteps, though. Was he bringing friends to help kill him? Oh god! This is how he would die...

Finn walked in, followed by Sam, Artie, Mike, and Puck.

"Kurt?" asked Finn. His eyes grew wide as he saw the blood smeared behind his head. "Holy shit! Kurt! What the hell happened here! Somebody call an ambulance or something, he's bleeding!" Mike whipped out his cell phone and quickly dialed 9-11. They'd be there ASAP.

Finn ran towards Kurt and crouched down next to him. He attempted to reach out to Kurt and help him up, but Kurt swatted at Finn's hand and began screaming. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" he screamed with his eyes shut. "GET AWAY! I SAID DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" Kurt was now swinging at Finn, and the tears that had begun to dry had been replaced by new ones that were leaving wet trails across his cheeks.

"Whoa! Kurt! KURT!" Kurt opened his eyes as Finn grabbed Kurt by the wrists and put his hands down.. "Calm down... It's just me... Finn... Your friend... Your brother."

Kurt's lower lip quivered. "Finn?" he breathed.

Finn nodded, his voice breaking. What happened to his baby brother? "Yeah, it's me..."

Kurt pulled Finn into a hug and cried into the taller boys shoulder. Finn tried to calm him down by shushing him and stroking the back of his head, avoiding the gash at the bottom of his skull.

He pulled away from the embrace. "Kurt... You have to tell us... What happened?"

Kurt began to tremble. "I... He..." Kurt's whole body was shaking with sobs. "He raped me..."

XXX

The ride to the hospital was the longest fifteen minutes of Finn's life. He was the closest thing to a family member Kurt had at the moment, and there was nobody else to ride with Kurt.

Finn told them everything Kurt had told him; Kurt had lost a lot of blood and had eventually passed out. Every time he asked who attacked Kurt, he'd just shake his head or freak out. They never got a straight answer out of him.

When the doctors had said that they needed to go into surgery immediately, Finn freaked.

"What! No! He can't have surgery yet! His dad isn't here yet!"

The doctor tried calming him down. "Son, listen to me... It's just a minor one, barley a surgery. We just need to put stitches on that lesion he has in the back of his head... Now we need you to fill out these information cards. Do you know if you have insurance?"

Finn nodded. "Yeah, my mom's a nurse at the other hospital across town so she taught me how to fill these things out if anything happened... Is he... Will... Is he gonna be alright?"

The doctor shook his head. "I don't know, son. I don't know..."

XXX

Blaine was in his dorm along with his two best friends, David and Wes. It was Dalton's "Study Day," so naturally, they were goofing off.

Wes and David were teasing Blaine about the Kurt kid that he'd met a few days ago when he was trying to spy on the Warblers. Blaine had gone out to Breadstix with him and a friend of Kurt's a few days ago, and also to his dads wedding, and since then, he hadn't shut up about him.

"Blaine," started Wes. "Just admit it! You have a little crush on Kurt Hummel, the terrible spy!"

Blaine laughed and was about to reply with a witty comeback when his phone rang. He shushed the other two Warblers and picked it up.

"Hello? Finn?"

"Oohhh!" said David. "I'm gonna tell Kurt that you're making dinner plans with his brother an-"

He was abruptly cut off by Wes smacking him on the shoulder and pointing out Blaine's grim expression.

As Finn explained the situation, Blaine's heart fell and his throat went dry.

"What..? How..? Why..? O- ok..." he grabbed a jacket and headed towards the door. "I'll be there soon..."

"What is it?" asked Wes.

"It's Kurt." said Blaine, hands shaking. "He's in the hospital... They... they said he's been raped." he left the two Warblers with their mouths hanging open in shock as he left out the door to the hospital.

XXX

A/N: so whaddya think? Should I keep going with this? Or am I wasting my time? Well, ima put the second chapter up anyways, and if nobody reads it, then I guess I'll take it down after that which would actually make me very sad because I had big BIG plans for this story... I really hope it's not a flopper :/

For those of you who've been waiting for an update on my other stories like BFB, Camp, Perfect Timing, and Unknown, I have decided to call it quits for BFB... I'm sorry, but I just have nowhere to go with it now :/ as for the other three, I can't promise anything soon, buy I can say that I most definitely WILL be continuing them. If you know me for my Missing Klaine Scenes, then no worries :) I'll be updating soon after Big Brother :)


	2. I Will Stand By You I Will Help You Thru

(2) I Won't Let Go

A/N: this story had gotten such a great response that I decided to just out the second chapter up. It's only got two reviews, but I saw all the favorite story and follow alerts :) I've actually had this for ready for a while

XXX

I Will Stand By You, I Will Help You Through

The next time Kurt opened his eyes, he was aware of a beeping noise that seemed to be in sync with his heartbeat. His eyes slowly fluttered open and he realized that he wasn't in his room. He wasn't in the locker room anymore, either, and he was grateful that he was at least away from where the horrible incident had happened.

Finn had been in the chair next to Kurt's bed the entire time since he got out of the surgery. Burt and Carole had been in there earlier, but went to bring Finn some food, since he refused to leave from his seat next to Kurt.

Kurt's head shifted in the slightest towards Finn. He immediately sat up in his chair. "Kurt? You awake?" Kurt made a small noise from his throat that sounded much to similar to a whimper for Finn's liking... He couldn't bear to see his little brother like this. "Kurt? You're ok... You heard me?" Finn's voice broke as he reached for Kurt's hand and took it in his own. "You're gonna be alright... I won't let anything hurt you..."

Kurt turned his face to Finn. "Finn... Wh- where am I?"

Finn bit his lip. "You're in the hospital... You banged your head and- and... You... You were-"

Kurt shut his eyes. "I know..." he whispered.

Finn came closer to Kurt's bed. "Kurt... You have to tell us who did this to you. You need to tell officer Jones." It was at this moment that Kurt became aware of a woman with long, dark, shiny curls, dressed in a black blazer with a white shirt and black slacks standing in the corner.

Kurt shook his head vigorously. "No... I- I can't tell you... I- I want you to call Blaine and tell him what happened... Ask him if he can come..."

Finn stared at him in disbelief. "You're willing to tell some guy you've known for a few weeks, but not your own brother?" When Kurt flinched, Finn immediately regretted saying that. His words came out harsher than intended.

"It's completely normal," said officer Jones. "Usually, the victim will want to confide in the person he believes will be the most understanding, or who he is closer or more similar to."

"I- I'm sorry... I'll go call him right now... What's his number?"

"419-314-6757" stated Kurt, from memory.

Finn dialed Blaine's number and stepped out of the room. He didn't exactly feel comfortable talking about what happened in front or Kurt, even if he was the victim.

He heard two rings, then a familiar click. "Hello? Blaine? It's Finn... I- we need you to come to Lima Memorial Hospital... It's Kurt... He- he was raped earlier today... Ok. I'll see you then..." Finn walked back into the room and passed the news to Kurt that Blaine would be there as soon as he could.

About thirty minutes later, Blaine came through the hospital room door. He saw Kurt on the hospital bed, so weak looking and vulnerable, and it was nearly enough to break him. "Kurt!" he ran to his bedside and the paler boy pulled him into a hug and began crying.

Kurt eventually reluctantly pulled away. "Finn... Can you both please give us a minute alone..."

Finn once again stared at him in disbelief, but before he could speak, officer Jones stopped him. "Let him do this at his own pace... Besides, we might be able to get Blaine to tell us what happened." Finn nodded and followed Jones out the door.

Blaine sat down in the seat that Finn had occupied just moments ago and scooted it closer to Kurt's bed. "What happened?" asked Blaine softly.

"I'm going to tell you what happened, but I want you to promise that you won't tell the officer anything."

Blaine shook his head. "I can't do that Kurt. Whoever did this to you needs to be brought to justice."

Kurt nodded... It was worth a shot. He breathed deeply. "I took your advice... I stood up to him... I was walking to my third period class when you sent me that last message of "courage". I checked my phone and he smacked it out of my hand and shoved me into the lockers... I followed him into the locker room... We- we got into a heated yelling session and he grabbed my face and kissed me... He- he tried to kiss me again, but I pushed him away... Then he- he grabbed me by the collar and shoved me against the lockers. He told me that he told me not to push him... Then... He threw me against one of the edges of the showers, where I hit my head... Then he... Pulled my pants down and he-h-he..."

Kurt pulled Blaine into another hug and began sobbing into his shoulder. It broke his heart to see Kurt in this much pain, and he hated that he was playing a part in making him relive it. "Kurt... If you want to be safe again, you need to tell me... What did he do to you?"

"He raped me... And said he'd kill me if I told anyone..."

Blaine had tear tracks down his face now. Whatever bastard that had done this to Kurt would pay... "Ok... Kurt... Who was it..."

Kurt whimpered. "David Karofsky."

XXX

Jones and Finn had reentered the room, along with Burt and Carole. With a little help and support from Blaine, Kurt managed to retell the events that happened, but hadn't gotten around to telling them who had done it.

"Kurt..." started Jones. "We need to know who did this to you..."

Kurt nodded and swallowed. "It was David Karofsky."

Finn immediately jumped out of his seat. "What the HELL!" He was... Words could not do his anger justice. He clenched his fists... Of all the fucking people in the world... "I AM GOING TO FUCKING _**KILL **_THAT SON OF A BITCH!"

He pushed his chair as he stood up. Burt, Carole, Blaine, and Jones all tried to pull him back into his chair. "Finn! Just calm down!" called Jones. "I know it's hard-"

"No you DON'T _**FUCKING**_ KNOW!" shouted Finn. He snatched his arms out of Burt's grasp. "You weren't the one who had to watch his little brother get tormented for two years, while the rest of the fucking world, including myself at some points, just fucking watched!" the adults grew silent. "You're not the one who saw how it was breaking him down slowly everyday. How it made him lose his appetite. How the tormenting wouldn't stop no matter how many fights me and the rest of the Glee Club guys got into." on the next part, his voice broke. "You're not the one who found him in that locker room. His blood smeared against the wall, as if someone was willing to leave him there to just fucking die... So don't fucking tell me that you know how hard it is... And don't try to stop me..."

Finn was on his way out the door when a soft pleading voice stopped him. "Finn..."

Just hearing Kurt say his name was enough to convince him not to go kill David. "Fine... I won't... But I do need some air..."

He walked out of the room and wandered throughout the hospital until he came to an empty hallway.

He slammed his back against the wall and let the tears fall as he slid down the wall into a crouching position. He went from running his fingers through his hair, to hugging his knees, to just flat out screaming and yelling as he slammed his fists against the wall.

"WHY!" he screamed to a God that he didn't even believe in. "WHAT has he EVER done to ANYONE! What the FUCK did he do to deserve this! Why... Why..." he just kept on repeating that last word until he cried himself to sleep in that hallway, his head buried in his arms that cradled his knees.

XXX

Finn didn't return to the room that night, which meant that he wasn't there when Jones brought in her forensics team or to learn that Kurt had been put on 48 hour watch.

"Kurt..." she said gently. "With you and your fathers permission, we'd like to do a rape kit..."

Kurt swallowed and nodded and Burt said that anything that would help bring justice was fine by him. Officer Jones asked everyone to leave the room, and they complied, all waiting anxiously outside.

Jones eventually came out and signaled that it was ok to come in now. She motioned for them to all sit down. Kurt had fallen asleep. "They gave him a little melatonin to help with his sleep..." she breathed deeply. "There's good news... There was semen... And a good amount of it." Blaine clenched his fists. "Which means that this won't just be your standard "He said She said" case... If we can find enough probable cause to book him, we might be able to get a warrant for a DNA sample... Which means that bastard's as good as convicted."

XXX

Kurt had eventually woken up about an hour later, and convinced Burt and Carole to go home as they had work the next day and somebody needed to pay the bills. When they couldn't find Finn, they decided that he probably just needed some alone time.

The only one he couldn't convince to go home was Blaine. "Blaine... You need to go home. Your parents will be looking for you."

Blaine just shook his head. "You forget: I dorm at Dalton. And it's a Friday, there are no classes on the weekend, and we have Monday off for some reason." Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand. "I promise you. Whether or not you want me to, I won't let go..."

Kurt smiled, thankful for a friend like Blaine. Blaine eventually drifted off into a peaceful sleep, as did Kurt.

That is, until the night terrors set in...

XXX

A/N: Bit of a cliffy there huh? I have formulated a very complicated and complex formula that determines when my next update will be, and the number of reviews and update speed are DIRECTLY proportional in this equation :)

Another thing: if could allow a third main character, in this story, I think it'd be Finn.


	3. It Hurts My Heart To See You Cry

(3) I Won't Let Go

It Hurts My Heart To See You Cry

Blaine was awoken by Kurt kicking and screaming in his bed. His eyes were shut, which Blaine figured meant that he was still asleep. He was having a nightmare.

"STOP! PLEASE! GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" He was sobbing and swinging his arms wildly.

Blaine jumped up from the chair that he'd fallen asleep in and ran to Kurt. He heard him begging and screaming for it to stop... It broke Blaine's heart to see Kurt this way; in so much pain and suffering, begging and pleading for the torture to stop. Why anyone would ever do such a thing to another human being was something that Blaine couldn't even begin to fathom. He just wanted the crying to stop. It was hurting his heart way too much to see Kurt in this much emotional pain.

Kurt's breathing got faster as the heart monitor began beeping incredibly fast.

"Kurt! Kurt, wake up! Its just a nightmare he's gone! It's not real!" Blaine put his hand on the nightmaring boy, and Kurt swung at him and his fist barely missed his cheek. "Whoa! Nurse! NURSE! Somebody please help!"

Instantly three nurses came rushing through the door and began speaking a bunch of medical terminology that Blaine didn't understand.

"What's going on! What's happening to him!" tears were streaming down his face.

One of the nurses pulled him to the side. "He's having night terrors. It could possibly signify PTSD... But we can't be to sure unless a specialized diagnostician confirms it."

"PTSD?" asked Blaine.

"Post traumatic stress disorder."

XXX

Finn woke up in the same empty hallway the next day to the echoing sound of a familiar voice screaming.

"Kurt?" he mumbled groggily... Another scream... "Kurt!" his eyes shot open as he scrambled up and ran through the hospital towards Kurt's room, barely dodging a few gurneys and nurses, even sending a few files flying.

He came to a fork in the hallways, unsure of where to go. He turned one way, then the other, in confusion. Then, he heard another scream coming from his right. He swiveled to the right and took off running again until he reached his brother's room.

He reached the room and flung the door open only to see Blaine talking to a nurse that was saying something like "...stress disorder."

"What's going on?" demanded Finn. "Is he ok?"

One of the nurses nodded. "It started out as a night terror, but when he eventually woke up, we believe it turned into a minor hallucination. He might have PTSD. We gave him a sedative and a calming agent. He should be fine in a few minutes."

As if on cue, the screaming died down and Kurt slowly stopped thrashing around. His breathing slowed and the heart monitor showed a stable heart rate.

Blaine heard a two words come out of Kurt's mouth, almost whimpers.

"Finn..? Blaine..?"

Blaine's eyes widened in surprise. But nonetheless, he went over to a sleeping Kurt's bedside and took his hand once more.

He swallowed hard and his voice broke... But not nearly as much as his heart did. "I'm right here. Don't you worry... I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon..."

Finn walked over to his brother's bedside and took his other hand, his heart shattered as well. "Neither am I... We won't leave you... Ever. No matter what, we got your back... I promise."

XXX

The dream had started out innocently enough. Kurt was making his way through the crowded halls of McKinley High, on his way to Glee club, when out of nowhere, a pair of arms shoved him into the lockers.

He fell onto the lockers on his back and sunk to the floor. He was tired of fighting. It just took so much out of him. But what just made him break completely was the fact that nobody was doing anything. Everyone just went about their normal day, as if a person getting called "fag" and "lady face" and having the spirit beaten out of them was just a part of their everyday routine. He was just so tired...

The same arms grabbed him and pulled him up, pushing him up against the lockers by the collar.

That's when the dream took a turn for the worst.

Still, nobody did anything to help. And what's worse, they just stopped to stare as Karofsky lifted him up and then threw Kurt to the floor and his head banged with a sickening crack.

The bell rang and everyone filed into their classes like ants except for Kurt and Karofsky.

Kurt tried to scramble away, but he pinned him down as Kurt closed his eyes, tears rolling down his face. He couldn't bare to see the horrible grin that Karofsky had on his face as he forced himself onto Kurt.

He kept screaming and begging. "STOP! PLEASE! GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" He'd even resorted to praying to a god that he didn't believe in... That was how bad he wanted to end this hurt. Kurt swing blindly at his attacker, missing wildly.

Kurt kept thrashing, and Karofsky kept forcing... There was nothing Kurt could do about it...

Two new pairs of arms suddenly pulled Karofsky off of Kurt and he almost instantly calmed.

His two heros grabbed Kurt's hands and pulled him up and into a hug. Kurt wept, thankful for these saviors. He pulled away and got a good look at them. "Finn..? Blaine..?"

They pulled him back into a hug and spoke to him. He couldn't make out much of what they'd said. But he had gotten wind of two words that gave him just enough strength for the night...

"I promise..."

XXX

A/N: I know, I know, short and crappy chapter, but I promise it gets better.

More reviews=Faster updates :D If my story cannot convince you to review, perhaps this kitty will.

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	4. It Breaks Your Will

(4) I Won't Let Go

It Breaks Your Will

Finn woke the next day to see a very tired looking Blaine holding on to the hand that his own didn't occupy. He couldn't help but wonder. "Dude, you get ANY sleep last night?"

Blaine nodded. "I fell asleep around midnight, woke up around three..."

Finn stared in amazement. Three hours of sleep... That was all Blaine had gotten. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. His eyes were red, which Finn didn't think was from the lack of sleep, but rather from crying... It hurt Finn to think that that was how he managed to stay awake.

The gears in Finn's head began to turn. This wasn't something you did for someone who was quote unquote just a friend. You did these things for somebody that you, well, loved...

"So," he began. "How do you feel about... Kurt..?" There was really no point in beating around the bush... After all that had happened.

Blaine swallowed and just spoke the truth. "I have no idea... I mean, we'd gone out as friends a few times, and I thought I COULD like him... But when I got that call from you..." his voice and breath hitched and he shut his eyes. "I felt like my whole reality was just being ripped to shreds... My world was falling apart... My heart broke and-and I wanted to really, REALLY hurt the person who did it... So, I'm not too sure... But... I think I might love him. I know it's silly since I haven't even known him that long but..."

Finn nodded. Blaine might be confused about how he felt, but Finn wasn't. The whole time Blaine was explaining this, Finn saw that he still never let go of Kurt's hand...

In fact, he held it tighter.

XXX

On Sunday, two nurses walked into Kurt's room with a wheelchair. It was time for him to go home. The last day had been uneventful, and his 48 hour watch was over. He looked at the wheelchair with a raised eyebrow. "Is that really necessary? I can still walk you know."

Finn and Blaine smiled. Even in this dark part of life, Kurt still managed to be sassy.

"It's standard procedure," said the nurse with a laugh "It's just until you get to the pick up area, where someone can pick you up, or you can walk to the car."

Kurt nodded and complied.

Finn and Blaine still took either hand of Kurt's as they wheeled down the hospital. As they came into the lobby, an older man looked at the three of them with disgust. "Bunch of faggots..." he said, just loud enough for them to hear.

Kurt and Blaine flinched.

Finn whirled around to face him, fists clenched. "The fuck did you just say?"

The man stood up and faced Finn, his face considerably lower. "I said... That you're all a bunch of FAGS!"

"You don't know shit!" spat Finn. "That's my brother and that's his best friend... Do you know why he's in the fucking hospital? Because some arrogant asshole like yourself raped him!"

The man snorted. "Serves him right for being a fag!"

Finn drew his fist back and the man flinched in anticipation.

"FINN!" cried Kurt and Blaine in unison.

Finn put his fist down but looked the man straight in the eye. The man sneered. "You three are all going to hell."

Finn never broke eye contact. "Then I guess we'll see you there..."

XXX

Finn and Kurt were waiting for Blaine to bring around Finn's truck in the pick up area. Blaine finally arrived and Finn excused himself. "I uh, I left something in the room..."

"Well hurry up!" cried Kurt. "I'm already behind on my moisturizing routine."

Finn smiled sadly and forced a laugh and an "Ok". How could Kurt be so strong? Finn hadn't even been the victim and couldn't help but tear up whenever it was brought up. He turned around with a shaky breath when he realized the lump in his throat was coming up.

He ran back into the hospital, and looked for the man who had called his brother a fag.

He was sitting on a couch now, reading a newspaper. Finn walked up to him and stood there as he waited to be acknowledged. The man looked up, threw his paper down and stood up. "What the hell do you want?" he asked.

"Just to do this!" Finn grabbed his man by the shoulders and brought his knee to the mans crotch. The man crumpled to the floor in pain as Finn ran out of the door and hopped into the truck. "Drive!"

"What!" cried Blaine.

"JUST DRIVE!" Blaine put the pedal to the metal, too afraid to look back.

XXX

The man was crumpled on the floor in pain when a security guard came over to him. "Sir! What happened?"

In an unusually high pitched voice, the man replied, "The fag kicked me in the balls." he squealed.

The officer clenched his fists. Another ignorant asshole... Great. "Sir, a fag is a cigarette. I highly doubt that a cigarette came in and knees you in the family jewels... Unless you're hallucinating, in which case, I may have to take you on for a drug test."

The man gaped at him. "Fine! That homo," he spat the word with the most disgust possible. "came and kneed me in the fucking balls! Aren't you going to do anything!"

The policeman shrugged. "I don't know sir, there seems to be a lack of witnesses..."

The man's eyes bulged in anger. "Are you fucking kidding me! There are so many people here!"

The policeman turned to an elderly Black woman reading a magazine. "Excuse me miss?" She looked up at him. "Did you see anything?"

She smiled sweetly. She'd seen the whole thing... And the bastard deserved what he got... Nobody deserved to be treated with such disrespect, no matter who or what they were. She shrugged and shook her head. "I didn't see anything except for this man here harassing those three nice, young men earlier..."

The policeman looked at the man. "I'm sorry sir..." he shrugged. "Nothing I can do bout it."

"THIS IS SO MUCH MOTHER FUCKING BULLSHIT!"

"SIR!" yelled the officer, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave the premises immediately! There are young children who don't need to be exposed to this kind of poison! So if you'll kindly be excused..."

The man huffed and swiveled around and stormed out of the hospital, never to return.

And that was fine by everyone else...

XXX

"Finn!" said Kurt. "I don't ever- and I mean EVER! -want you to pull shit like that again! You hear me! Jesus! You could've been arrested!"

Finn gritted his teeth. "But Kurt! You heard what he said! It was horrible and rude and-and sick!... Hearing someone call you that made me remember when I did..." tears started rolling down Finn's cheek. "I'm so sorry... I-"

Kurt stopped him before he could continue. "Finn! I forgave you for that a LONG time ago! And besides, I'm used to getting called names like that... Don't sweat it..."

"But Kurt-"

Kurt held up a hand. "Just... Drop it..." Finn finally fell silent. "Oh and Finn?" he turned to face Kurt who smiled lightly. "Thank you."

They reached their house about twenty minutes later. Finn, Blaine, and Kurt were greeted at the Hudmel home with nothing but smiles.

Burt wrapped Kurt in a hug, fighting back tears. Burt pulled back and stroked his sons hair. "Kurt... The officer from the hospital is here... She wants to know if you're ready to file an official report..."

XXX

A/N: I don't know much about PTSD, but I plan to troll the Internet and learn all I can about that and the legal system so that I can make this story as realistic as possible.


	5. I Will Hold You Tight

(5) I Won't Let Go

I Will Hold You Tight

Kurt was sitting on the couch in his living room in between Finn and Blaine, while Burt and Carole sat on the loveseat, and Jones sat on the recliner.

Kurt had told the detective everything he knew. "Well," said Jones. "This is good. We have a decent amount of evidence. I'll turn in these files and by Monday, we should have Karofsky in cuffs."

She thanked them for their time and walked out the door.

"Kurt," Burt said. "I need to go to the garage... You think you'll be okay here?"

Kurt smiled and nodded. "He won't be alone," Finn spoke up. "I'll stay with him."

"Me too," said Blaine.

Carole had to leave to the hospital later on, leaving the three boys by themselves.

"So what do you want to do?" asked Finn.

"Yeah," said Blaine. "We can watch movies or play board games or whatever else you'd like." he mailed at Kurt who returned it.

"Why don't we watch Mulan?" asked Kurt. They all smiled and happily agreed.

XXX

Maria Jones put her squad car into park just outside of the Karofsky residence driveway. She breathed deeply and gripped the steering wheel tightly just the way she did every time she confronted a perp to take them in. She opened the car door, walked up to the porch and rang the doorbell. It was answered by a burly man with a beard and goatee who looked very professional in his business suit. "Hello?" he called. "May I help you?"

"Detective Maria Jones: Lima Ohio PD: Special Victims Unit..." she flipped out her badge to the man. "Paul Karofsky?" the man nodded. "I'm here to talk to you and your son David Karofsky." she said.

He invited her in and called his son to the living room. David walked into the room. "Yeah?" he asked nonchalantly. Maria clenched her fist... The nerve of this guy to act as if he hadn't done anything wrong...

"David Karofsky?" he nodded. Out from the inner pocket of her blazer. She pulled out a blue document and handed it to his father. "This is a warrant for your son's arrest... David Karofsky," she walked over to him and pulled out handcuffs. His eyes widened and he took a step back, nearly nocking down the small table behind him.

"This MUST be some sort of mistake," said Paul.

She grabbed David by his shoulders and pinned him to the wall with his back facing outward. She placed the cuffs on his wrists. "You are under arrest for the rape and assault of Kurt Hummel. You have the right to remain silent."

"This is total BULLSHIT!" cried David. "I didn't touch the little fag!"

Maria raised her voice just slightly. "Anything you say can and will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney present now and during any future questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you free of charge if you wish."

"Dad!" whimpered David.

"Detective!" he called. "Surely you have the wrong person! It's a mistake! It must be!"

She shook her head as she opened the back of the car and pushed David's head into the car. She could only wish that this was a mistake. That this had never happened. Unfortunately, reality had other plans.

XXX

Th three boys were halfway through Mulan when the house phone rang. Finn leaned over to the lamp table where it sat and picked it up. "Hello?"

It was Jones. "I just wanted to call to say that David Karofsky has been arrested."

Finn closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Thank you so much..." He felt a lump forming in his throat. "I- I'll pass on the news. Will that be all, detective?"

"For now... Goodbye Finn."

He thanked her again and hung up. "Who was that?" asked Kurt.

"It was Jones..." Kurt sucked in a breath. What had happened? "Kurt. Karofsky's been arrested."

He let out a sigh of relief, but didn't say anything. No words could ever express the amount of relief he was feeling.

Blaine spoke up though. "Good. Do you know the trial date yet?"

Finn shook his head. "That was all the info she had for now..."

They sat in silence for a while. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder. He loved the way Kurt's head fit perfectly in the gap between his head and shoulder. They were near the end of the movie when Burt walked through the door. His eyes were puffy and red and everyone knew he'd been crying.

He smiled at the group of boys, then headed into the kitchen. Blaine excused himself and followed Burt into the kitchen.

"Burt?" Blaine called. Burt quickly wiped away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. "I was... I was wondering if I could stay the night. I just... I don't want to leave Kurt..."

Under normal circumstances, Burt would have politely declined. But this situation was anything but normal now. "Sure thing, kiddo. Kurt uh... He has an air mattress in his room unless you'd rather sleep in the couch."

Blaine decided on the air mattress. He would be closer to Kurt that way. He made his way back to the couch and Kurt's head reclaimed it's position on Blaine's shoulder.

They decided to watch a few more movies before going to sleep. Kurt was the first one to decide to call it quits and he headed up the stairs. Blaine decided that there was really no point in staying up if Kurt was already going to sleep, so he decided to go to sleep as well.

Blaine pulled out the air mattress from underneath Kurt's bed and blew it up using a pump quickly. As he turned out the lights and climbed into bed, he bid Kurt goodnight. "Sweet dreams," he whispered.

He soon realized that his dreams would he anything but.

In the middle of the night, Blaine awoke to the sound of whimpering coming from Kurt's direction. He quickly scrambled up and flicked on the light as Kurt's flailing became more intense. "Kurt! Kurt! Just calm down! It just a dream, he can't hurt you! Kurt!"

Blaine grabbed Kurt's wrists to try to stop them from swinging at him.

"KURT!"

His eyes shot open and he was breathing heavily. His eyes were watering as he pulled Blaine into a tight hug. "Oh thank god it's just you. I thought- I thought..."

He couldn't even finish the thought. He just buried his head into Blaine's shoulder as his whole body shook with sobs. Blaine shushed him and gently stroked the back of his head. God, his heart was aching for Kurt so bad. He didn't even realize he was crying until he felt the first tear drip from his cheek onto Kurt's back.

He wiped the tear as he pulled away and looked at Kurt. "You ok?" he asked.

Kurt smiled weakly and nodded. "I'm a lot better now, thank you."

Blaine nodded, switched the light back off, and climbed back down onto his mattress. They laid there on silence for a while before Kurt spoke up.

"B-Blaine?"

Blaine turned towards Kurt and asked, "Yeah?"

"Will-will you... Will you sleep next to me... Please?"

Blaine climbed out of his covers and into Kurt's bed. He came face to face with Kurt's eyes. Those eyes... They had seen so much more hate, injustice, and pain in this past weekend than Blaine had his whole life.

"Thank you..."

Blaine just nodded and placed his forehead on Kurt's as he closed his eyes. He reached for Kurt's hand and laced their fingers together. Kurt had his eyes closed and pulled their intertwined hands up between their chests.

It might have been the drowsiness. It might have been the stress of the whole situation getting to them. Or it might have just been fate. But as they felt each other's heartbeat through their hands, they seemed to be in sync with each other.

They slowly drifted off to sleep, the rhythmic sounds of breathing lulling them into deep dreams.

Kurt didn't have another nightmare that night.

XXX

A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait, but this story is so hard for me to write and my iPod was confiscated...

Please let me know what you think, and have faith because I have a big storyline planned.

Aly 3


	6. It Finds Us All

(6) I Won't Let Go

A/N: Blaine's parents will be briefly introduced in this chapter. I really don like the whole unaccepting father theme, so Blaine's parents are cool with him being gay.

Another thing: I HATED the way RIB trolled us by making Blaine a junior, so Klaine is the same age here

XXX

Blaine woke up the next day as a sun beam peeking through Kurt's blinds hit his eyes. His arms had managed to wrap themselves around Kurt. Kurt had turned in his sleep so that his back was towards Blaine. He nuzzled his face into Kurt's back, trying to force himself back to sleep. When he realized that he wouldn't he able to, he just laid there, not wanting to wake up Kurt.

He brought his hand up to the back of Kurt's head and lightly stroked his hair. He paused slightly when he felt the ridges that came from the stitches placed in the lower region on his skull. Blaine clenched his teeth and tried to stop his eyes from watering in vain. He took in a shaky breath.

He was pissed. He was pissed off that anybody would hurt Kurt. Pissed off that Karofsky got a trial he didn't deserve. That he even got a chance at freedom.

But most of all, he was pissed off that he hadn't been able to do anything to stop it. If anything, he was responsible...

Kurt stirred a little as his eyes slitted open. He turned to face Blaine who had tears in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Blaine? Are you ok?"

Blaine buried his head into Kurt's chest and his whole body shook with sobs. "I'm just... I'm so sorry Kurt. This... It's all my fault. The whole damn thing. I'm so sorry."

Kurt grabbed onto the back of Blaine's shirt and rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. "It's NOT your fault Blaine! This- these things... It's not your fau-"

Blaine shot his head up. "Yes it is!" his eyes had gone red from crying. "I- I should've never told you to stand up to him. If I hadn't told you..."

"Blaine! Look at me." Blaine lifted his head and faced Kurt. "This is NOT your fault... You didn't tell him to do this to me. You didn't force him to do this... This isn't your fault... None of it is."

Blaine stared at Kurt. God, he was falling for him so bad right now. If only the situation was different. He wrapped his arms around Kurt in a hug. He closed his eyes. Jesus... He loved the way he felt, wrapped around Kurt. But he hated the fact that this was how he'd discovered his feelings. They'd probably never be able to be anything mote than friends. He finally pulled away. "I think I should go home and explain to my parents why I wasn't at school. They'd be worried."

Kurt nodded. "Yeah, I need to get ready for school, anyways." they got out and got dressed. By the time they went downstairs, Finn was already at the table eating Count Chocula.

With a mouthful of the chocolate cereal in his mouth he asked "Wha oo ooin' uh sho eary?"

"Finn. Food. Mouth." said Kurt.

Finn wiped some milk from his mouth and repeated. "What're you doing up so early?"

"Well," started Blaine. "I have to go because my parents might be worried if they get a call from my school that I have two unexcused absences in the last week."

Kurt smiled at him and it took all the self control Blaine had not to melt right there. "Well, I guess I'll see you around?"

Blaine smiled right back at him. "You know it." he grabbed his things and headed out the door to his house.

"What about you?" asked Finn.

Kurt gave him a bitch-please look. "I need to get ready for school. It's Monday, in case you didn't know."

Finn's eyes went wide. "What! No! Kurt, you can't go back to school!"

"And why not? Karofsky's been arrested. He's probably being held in custody already."

"Kurt... I just..." he inhaled deeply. "My mom's off this week. She's still asleep, but she'll wake up later. Please, just stay home. Just for today... For me?"

Kurt sighed. "Fine... I guess I can figure out how to keep myself entertained for eight hours."

Finn smiled as he grabbed his backpack and headed out door. "I'll see you when I get home. Take care of yourself and don't do anything to crazy... Or... Whatever..."

Kurt huffed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, MOTHER!" he said sarcastically.

The second the door closed behind Finn, Kurt collapsed in a chair, buried his hands in his face, and began to cry. He didn't want anybody to see him like this. Like all he was- all he'd become - was a sobbing pile of pity. No. He wasn't going to let what happened define who he was, or what people thought of him. He would put on a brave face when he had to. He knew he was damaged for good, but nobody needed extra pressure from him to need any taking care of. Nobody could EVER see this side of him. Everyone needed to see the him that was to be admired for his talent and whatnot. Not the side of him that was to be pitied.

Kurt Hummel would not let himself become a sob story.

XXX

When Blaine reached his house, before going inside, he placed his forehead in the steering wheel and began to cry. No matter what Kurt said, he would always feel responsible for what happened. This whole thing was his fault. He'd given Kurt advice that he was to cowardly to follow himself. His damn hypocrisy had gotten Kurt raped.

After about eighteen minutes, he got off his car and walked inside. "Mom..? Dad..?" His parents were sitting at the table. His mom was still in her robe, but his dad was ready to go in his business suit.

"Blaine?" his dad called. "We thought you wouldn't be coming home until Christmas break."

"Um... Yeah... Some things... Came up." he said grimly.

His mother waved him over. "Come sit down, have some breakfast." Angie's son looked ill. He wasn't his normal self and he looked like he'd been crying.

"I'm not very hungry..." He took a seat next to his mom. "You remember Kurt?"

His father smiled. "That nice boy that tried to spy on the Warblers a few weeks ago?" He'd never seen Blaine come home from a wedding so giddy. Hell, he hadn't seen Blaine this happy in a really long time, or ever, for that matter.

"Yeah, well... The- the other day..." His lower lip quivered and he buried his face into his mother as she held him while his whole body shook with sobs. Why was it that Blaine couldn't get a grip whenever he thought of what had happened to Kurt?

"Blaine! Honey what's wrong?"

Blaine took a few shaky breaths before looking up and answering her. "He... He was raped." he whispered. He buried his face against his mom again and she held him tighter.

"Oh my god..."

"And it's all my fault!" He could hardly get any sentences out without sobbing. "He- we invited him- back for-for coffee... I told him- to stand up to his- bully- and he- he... Oh god..! God! I'm so stupid! Why, just... Why?"

Robert had come and wrapped his arms around his son and wife. Both of Blaine's parents had started crying. "Blaine?" said his father. Blaine looked up at him, eyes red and puffy. "You- you should stay home today... I don't think you're in any condition to be in public for a while."

Crying had taken so much juice out of him that Blaine didn't even have the energy to argue. He had a massive headache from all the sobbing. He just nodded and headed upstairs to his room.

He laid down on his bed and tried to cry himself to sleep. But somehow, falling asleep wasn't as easy without Kurt in the same bed.

XXX

A/N: I need to apologize for that chapter... I have a minor case of writer block and I'm having trouble figuring out how to move the plot forward, but when I do, I promise (The Pessimistic Part of My Head: "Don't make promises you can't keep!") it will be worth the wait. (hopefully?)

Ps. I just wanna clear things up if there's any confusion. Kurt didn't stand up to Karofsky until sometime AFTER "Furt" and "Special Education" but before "A Very Glee Christmas". And um... I'm sorry if this is sorta dropping a bomb on you guys, but the Warblers lost at Sectionals... *hides from stones being thrown at her*


	7. Don't Be Afraid To Fall

(7) I Won't Let Go

Don't Be Afraid To Fall

Finn was glad that he lived in a small town at times. He had close ties with people that could hook him up with cool things. That was one perk. But a downside of living in a small town like Lima, Ohio, was how quickly news traveled.

People already knew that he and Kurt were stepbrothers, so they all got nosy and suspicious when he showed up to school without him. He managed to ignore the stares and whispers at least until he reached Glee Club.

He walked through the door and immediately was bombarded with a myriad of questions asking about Kurt.

"What happened?"

"Is he ok?"

"Why isn't he here?"

"Is he still in the hospital?"

"Who's ass do I need to kick?"

"Is he hurt?"

"Will he be ok?"

Mr. Shue intervened before things could get out of hand. "Guys!" He yelled. "Let Finn breathe... If he feels up to it, he'll tell us what happened." He placed a hand in Finn's shoulder. "Alright?" he whispered. Finn nodded.

"Mr. Shue, can I have the floor?" Finn asked. Mr. Shue nodded and stepped aside. "As you all know, Kurt was hospitalized on Friday." Murmurs came in from all sides of the room. He inhaled deeply. How would he- how could he break the news to them? They cared about Kurt so much. Even if it may not seem like it at times, they were a family... A dysfunctional one, but a family nonetheless.

The looks on their faces... It was almost too much for Finn to handle.

"Mike, Sam, Artie, and Puck were there when he we found him, so all they know is that he was attacked... But... He... Kurt was raped..." Any murmuring or talking had been silenced and every member of the club had their mouths hanging open I'm shock.

"Who-?" started Rachel.

"... Karofsky..."

Rachel, Mercedes, Tina, and Santana all had their hands to their mouths in shock. Everyone else stared and sat in silence and disbelief. Puck was the first to break the silence, and when he did, he made sure it was shattered.

"That's it! I'm out of here! I'm gonna go find that son of a bitch and BEAT HIS ASS!" He got up and was followed by the rest of the New Directions who were shouting in agreement.

Mr. Shue had to hold him back. "PUCK! CALM DOWN!"

"He's been arrested anyways!" cried Finn.

"Does it look like I give a flying fuck! I'll go down to the big house and kick his ass there!"

"Puck chill!" cried Mr. Shue.

"No! YOU CHILL! I can take getting slushied every now and then and I've even been thrown in a dumpster a few times!... But when somebody goes and does something like THIS!" There was obvious disgust in his voice as it cracked. He shook his head. "I don't mind being called names, and being teased... Being here is worth all that! But when they go and hurt one of us... When they go THIS far... That's my boiling point. This. Ends. Now."

Finn desperately wanted to join them, but he knew that's not what Kurt would have wanted. "GUYS!" he yelled. Everyone stopped in their tracks and instantly silence followed. "You guys think I wasn't pissed off, too? Well as a matter of fucking fact, I was! I wanted to fucking kill him, and not even as a figure of speech... But think of what Kurt would have wanted..." Some members looked down at their feet as their tears dripped to the floor. "Violence is the LAST thing he would have wanted us to resort to... Like I said, Karofsky's been arrested. We just have to let the legal system run it's course."

Tina looked up at him, eyes smeared with wet mascara, and asked the question that he'd been to afraid to ask himself.

"What if it's not enough?"

XXX

After Kurt had let himself fall apart (something he promised he'd leave to his own privacy), he notified Carole that he was staying home and then went into his room and laid on his bed.

He decided to have a movie marathon and kicked it off with one of his all time favorites: "The Sound Of Music". He popped it in the DVD player and vaguely payed attention to it as he began to read the latest copies of Vogue.

He looked over to his nightstand where his phone rested. He knew it was silly, but he really wanted to talk with Blaine. To be in at least some sort of contact with him. He knew Blaine was probably at school, but they'd texted before during class. So he picked up his phone and scrolled through the contacts until he reached "Blaine Anderson".

New Message To: Blaine Anderson

Hey :)

Blaine sat in his room, his head throbbing, lying down in his bed. He turned and stared at the ceiling. Why was it that he felt so... Odd when Kurt wasn't here? Like a part of him was missing or somewhere else. He couldn't quite explain it, but his chest felt so... Empty.

His phone buzzed and he looked over to the nightstand as he grabbed it.

New Message From: Kurt Hummel :) :

Hey :)

Blaine smiled as he typed out a reply.

To Kurt Hummel :) :

Hey :D how you doing?

Blaine immediately regretted sending that text. "How you doing?" The guy had just gotten raped for Christ's sake! Of course he wouldn't be doing well!

Blaine groaned and facepalmed himself for being such a moronic idiot. His phone buzzed again.

New Message From: Kurt Hummel :) :

I'm ok, I guess. Finn (apparently my new mother) made me stay home today.

To Kurt Hummel :) :

Well, that's a weird coincidence, my mom made me stay home today too...

New Message From: Kurt Hummel :) :

Yeah... I'm mostly just bored. Watching The Sound Of Music. If you want, you can join me :)

To Kurt Hummel :) :

I'm already on my way :)

Without another distraction, Blaine grabbed his jacket and headed towards the Hudmel household.

XXX

As soon as Blaine had texted that he'd be over in a while, Kurt's heart leapt with joy. But he didn't text back, it would be dangerous if he was driving.

Blaine arrived at the Hudmel household about twenty minutes later. He nocked on the front door and was greeted by Carole. She smiled. "Hi, Blaine. Kurt's upstairs. I'll go call him for you. Come on in."

She led Blaine in and he sat down on the couch as she walked upstairs to get Kurt. She returned a few minutes with Kurt at her heels. He smiled when he saw Blaine and wrapped him in a hug.

Carole smiled and went to grab her keys. "Boys, I have a patient to see. I wasn't supposed to be in call this week, but duty calls. Can I trust you two not to burn the house down?" Her boss had gone easy on her considering the... Situation. But people got sick, no matter what the circumstances.

Kurt smiled and nodded. "Don't worry, Carole, I'm not like Finn. I know not to put foil in the microwave."

She smiled and left with a nod. She knew she could trust Kurt.

When she left, Kurt asked Blaine. "So, I'm watching The Notebook right now. You wanna come and watch it with me?"

Blaine smiled. "That's fine with me. I LOVE that movie."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and led him up the stairs. He wondered if Kurt had felt the same tingles in his hand that Blaine felt now, the day they first met, when Blaine was leading him down the Dalton hallways.

They hardly payed attention to the movie, though. They were much too busy talking to each other, laughing about Liza Minnelli and Elizabeth Taylor and whatnot.

Kurt rolled back on his bed and laid down. Blaine laid down next to him. "I don't think I've ever had this much fun with any of my friends," said Kurt.

Blaine smiled. "Same here. Don't get me wrong, the Warblers are great, but they just don't understand me like you do."

"And I've never met anybody else who's actually gay, except for-" Kurt froze as he remembered. He felt a lump forming in his throat and immediately tried to swallow it back down.

"Kurt-? Are you ok?"

He nodded stiffly. "I'm fine... I-I'm over it already," he croaked.

"Kurt, you and I both know very well that that's a lie... If you need to cry, I'm here. Don't be afraid to fall apart, Kurt. Because I will be waiting right here to catch you, no matter what." His voice was beginning to crack. "I will be there, to pick up the pieces and put you back together. I will hold you tight and let you cry if you need to. I will listen to all your problems. I will never, EVER judge you. I will not let anything, or anyone hurt you anymore... I promise you Kurt. I will hold you here in my heart... And I will never let you go."

After a few seconds of complete and utter silence, Kurt buried his head into Blaine's chest and began to sob. Screw the self promise. Blaine holding him felt so right, and warm, and perfect, and even though everything was falling apart, it seemed that when he was here, with Blaine, everything was just falling into place.

XXX

A few hours later, Kurt still had his head laid down on Blaine's lap. They were watching "Dear John" now and Blaine was stroking Kurt's hair. Kurt's eyes were fluttered halfway closed as he began to feel a bit drowsy.

He turned his face upwards towards Blaine. "Blaine?"

"Yeah?" Kurt repositioned his head back to where it was before and Blaine continued to stroke his hair.

"This is going to sound ridiculous... And crazy and silly but...I think I love you..."

Blaine shook his head. "It's not silly," he said. "And in all truth... I think I love you too."

They sat in a comfortable silence for the rest of the day. Eventually, Kurt fell asleep and Blaine held him there and not once did he let go.

XXX

A/N: I'm not gonna lie. When I was writing Blaine's little mini speech, "I Have Nothing" (Kurt's version, of course) came on my iPod and I teared up a little bit (ok, so I teared up a LOT).

Reviews are love for our Kurtie and they show that you love him :)


	8. You're Gonna Make It

(8) I Won't Let Go

A/N: Please don't kill me, but this chapter will partly focus on Karofsky... I hate him (in this story) for what he did, but like it or not, he is a key character in this story :/

XXX

David Karofsky sat in a jail cell across from a big man (bigger than himself, in fact) with skulls and barbed wire tattooed around his arms. He wore a denim sleeveless jacket. He looked like the type of guy that would rip your face off for telling him to have a nice day.

"What are you in for?" asked the man.

"I'm not in for anything..." responded Dave. "I'm waiting for bail... What about you?"

"Manslaughter."

"Oh... So you... never... actually..."

"No... I was driving down the street with my friends... He came out of nowhere... He was playing soccer on the sidewalk and ran out to get the ball. And I couldn't hit the breaks hard or fast enough. He was only eight..." He looked up at David. "I have an eight year old daughter. And I keep asking myself "Who would he be, if I hadn't taken his life?" He could've been my daughters Prom date. My future son-in-law. The one who found a cure for cancer and AIDs. But I'll never know..." he shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks. "Because I took his life, and ruined everyone around him. Sometimes, I'd rather be dead than live with the guilt and knowledge of what I did to him. It eats you up... Like a black hole that just... Destroys you from the inside out. But no matter how many times you apologize, or how many times you are forgiven, you will never forgive yourself. Because you know, deep inside... That the person you destroyed has got it _**SO **_much worse... Because of **you**.. And nothing kills a person more than that."

David opened his mouth, and then closed it... He had been rendered speechless. It was as of this man, this total stranger, had read his mind like a book and thrown every deepest darkest fear out in the open so that even David couldn't deny them anymore.

A guard came up to the cell and called out "David Karofsky. Your bail's been posted."

He got up when he saw his dad, standing next to the guard. "Dad..."

He walked out of the cell and they walked out of the precinct.

Paul suddenly stopped in his tracks. "You can't stay with us anymore."

David grew pale. "What?"

"You can't live with us anymore. I don't know where you're going to stay, but it can't be our home."

"Wait... You're believing HIM... Over ME?"

"I don't know what the hell to believe anymore, David! You are my son, yes. But lately... You've changed... You've been belligerent. And angry... Acting out... I can see it in your eyes, David... You are NOT the same son you were a few years ago... I'm so... SO sorry, David. I really am..."

Paul got in his truck and left David there, standing on his own in the middle of the parking lot. All by himself.

Maybe he should've felt like shit. But somewhere inside him, he knew that he probably deserved worse.

XXX

"Dad, this is ridiculous. I don't need any help." said Kurt.

Burt, Kurt, Carole, Finn, and Blaine were in Burt's truck on their way to an anxiety disorder specialist. It was a psychiatrist who mainly focused on anxiety disorders like OCD, ADD, ADHD, Bipolar, and of course PTSD. This particular doctor was known for helping sexual assault victims.

But Kurt didn't think he needed any pills to help him cope. He was doing just fine.

"Is that so?" asked Burt. "Then why is it you have night terrors every night unless Blaine sleeps over?" They reached the office and Burt placed the truck in park.

Kurt crossed his arms and looked out the window. The rain dripped down the window like tear tracks rolling down a person's cheek. "I'm not crazy."

"I'm not saying you're crazy... I'm saying that you might need a little help after what happened to you. I know you're not nuts, Kurt. I'm saying you're traumatized."

He scoffed and threw his head back. Blaine placed a hand on Kurt's shoulders. "Hey," he started. Even though they declared their love for each other last week, Blaine had decided it would be best to take things slow. Extremely slow. They hadn't even gone on a date yet. Not that he didn't want to. Because boy, did he want to. But considering what Karofsky had done to him... He didn't want to push Kurt to do anything that could trigger more stress. "At least give it a try. I promise it'll help you get on with your life and it's going to do nothing but make all this easier to cope with."

Kurt sighed and opened the door. "Fine. Come on, let's go."

Blaine smiled at him as they got off the car and walked into the office. The blonde receptionist had her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail and greeted them with a warm smile. "Kurt Hummel?" she asked. Burt nodded. "Right this way, sir."

She led began to lead him down the hallway but he stopped her. "Why aren't they following us?" He pointed to the rest of the group. She shook her head. "They're not allowed during evaluation. It's like a science experiment." Kurt flinched just in the slightest. Bad use of a simile. "Everyone is a variable, so the first trial has to be the control in order to get an accurate reading. We can't have anything or anybody influencing your behavior."

Kurt looked longingly towards his family and Blaine. The receptionist gently placed her hand on his shoulder and it took all his self control not to flinch. He nodded and walked into the psychiatrist's office.

The receptionist walked out the room and closed the door behind her. He sat down on the couch.

"Kurt Hummel. I'm Dr. Allen." She started. "Can you tell me why you're here today?"

Kurt looked down. "I'm here because my family thinks that I need help."

"And you don't think so?"

Kurt shook his head.

"Hmm." She nodded and looked at her clipboard. "I've heard that you've been having night terrors every night since the incident."

"Not every night."

"Is that so?" She asked. "Can you explain."

Kurt smiled lightly and blushed a bit. "Whenever my friend Blaine sleeps over, I don't have nightmares."

"Hmm. Ok." She scribbled something down on her clipboard. "The night terrors. Can you recount them to me?"

He froze. "I-I'd actually rather not..."

She just nodded and continued writing on her clipboard. "How has you're experience been at school since you've returned?"

"Ok... I guess. My friends are supportive. Thankfully, Karofsky's been AWOL ever since... The incident... So I haven't run into him."

"How have you been doing at school?"

Kurt looked down a little. "I usually have stellar grades. I'm a straight A student. But they've been suffering a bit... It's been hard to... Concentrate."

"Any particular places that you seem to... Avoid? Either consciously or unconsciously?"

Kurt but his lower lip and whispered, "The locker room... It's where it happened. I don't walk down that hallway anymore..." She nodded and wrote on her clipboard again. He looked up from his lap at her. "I'm not crazy, you know."

She looked up from her clipboard at him with genuine eyes. "No one ever said you were. You're not here because you're crazy, Kurt. You're here because something terrible happened to you, and it traumatized you. And you should know that you're not alone. You have your friends, and your family. Anxiety disorders are not uncommon among sexual assault victims. There are support centers if you'd give that a try. You've been through a great amount of stress and it affects your mental health. I'm just here to make sure that you can live your life as normally as possible. And I know you're not crazy, but admitting that you need help coping is the first step. You're going to be fine, Kurt. But you need to let other people help you."

Kurt blinked as tears rolled down his face. "I'm just..." he looked down at his lap and tears fell onto his lap. "I'm so ashamed..."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and he flinched. He knew she wasn't going to hurt him, but he couldn't help but remember Karofsky grabbing him an throwing his against that wall. "You have no reason to be ashamed, Kurt. What happened wasn't anybody but his fault."

He looked up and met her green eyes. "Thank you..."

She smiled at him and returned to her clipboard. She pulled up a little prescription pad. "I'm going to write you a prescription for Catapres, an anti-anxiety regimen. Take one of these every other day, and the night terrors should cease. You should be able to walk down that hallway and your grades will go back to normal in no time." She handed him the slip. "I promise."

XXX

Kurt walked out into the lobby where everyone was waiting. "How'd it go?" asked Finn.

"She uh, she put me on an anti-anxiety regimen. She said it would help me cope and that it's one step closer to my life being normal again. Or at least as normal as it can get."

Burt smiled at him. "This is gonna do you a lot of good, kid."

"Totally," said Finn. Blaine stood next to him and simply smiled at Kurt. That was enough reassurance for him.

"I know..." Kurt smiled. "I... I have a feeling that things are finally starting to look up for me."

XXX

A/N: Hermione! What is foreshadowing! I actually liked this chapter. It's not AS dark as the rest (I think?). Ps, the doctor is the same one that treats Emma in "Born This Way," I couldn't remember her name or if they even mentioned it, so I made it up.

Reviews? Tell me what you think/hope for our Kurtie and Klaine.


	9. But When It Rains

(9) I Won't Let Go

But When It Rains

Finn, Kurt, and Blaine sat in the backseat of Burt's truck, on their way back to the Hudmel household, almost there. Kurt had his head up against the window, watching the flashes of green pass him by as the rain rolled down the glass. The weather seemed to reflect the opposite of his mood. He was feeling optimistic. Hopeful, even.

He felt a hand grab an squeeze his own and turned to see Blaine who had a light, sweet smile on his face. "You're gonna be fine, you know that, right?"

Kurt returned the smile. "Yeah," He nodded. "I mean, if things can't really get any worse for me, they can only get better, right? Things can only go up from here."

"Right." Blaine comfortingly massaged the back of his hand.

They finally pulled into the Hudmel driveway where Burt put the gear into park. When they went inside, Blaine pulled Burt aside into the kitchen.

"Burt, can I talk to you?"

"Sure thing, kid."

They walked off into the kitchen. "You uh see..." He ran a hand through his hair and scratched the back of his head. "I uh... I was um wondering if um maybe um..." He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. "If maybe I could ask Kurt out in a date..."

Burt laughed. "Of course you can!"

Blaine opened his eyes. "Yes..? Yes as in.."

"Yes you can take my son out on a date."

Blaine wrapped Burt in a hug. "Oh, thank you, Mr. Hummel!" and with that, he ran out into the living room, Burt smiling behind him.

XXX

Blaine sat down on the couch next to Kurt. Kurt immediately nuzzled his head into his shoulder. Blaine had never, ever felt his heart beating so fast. He'd never felt his hands shake this much. It was the worst feeling in the world. And the best. "Hey, uh, Kurt. Can we talk?"

"Sure."

"Well... Uh... I was wondering... If you wanted to go on a date with me?"

Kurt picked his head up from Blaine's shoulder. "Seriously?" He said with a smile on his face. Blaine smiled and nodded. "Yes... I would love to."

"Great. How's Saturday at two? Christmas break starts Friday, anyway. It's going to be a surprise, though..."

Kurt just nodded. He placed his head back on Blaine's shoulder and smiled.

Yep. Things were getting better.

XXX

Kurt walked inti the choir room and headed to take a seat in next to Rachel and Mercedes. Everyone was whispering in hushed tones. Kurt only heard bits and pieces of their conversation.

"How can they even let him back here!"

"I don't know! But someone needs to keep my white boy safe."

"Isn't there some kind of rule that should expel him or something?"

"Probably not, but there should be..."

"This isn't fair..."

He sat down next to them and searched through his bag for the latest sheet music handed them by Mr. Shue. "What are you guys talking about?"

They turned to him and Rachel but her lip. "Kurt... There's something important you need to know."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Ok."

The New Directions all exchanged weary glances. They were all thinking the same thing. What if this sent him over the edge? Quinn was the one who finally answered him. "Karofsky's back."

Kurt's hearing went muffled. Details didn't matter. He was back. Memories of that fateful day kept flashing through his mind. All the screaming, the yelling, the pain. And especially the terror...

He didn't even remember how he got there, but the next thing he remembered was a blurred memory of driving down a familiar road, and then running into a familiar room full of boys in matching uniforms. The next clear memory was throwing his arms around Blaine, who walked him outside into the corridor and sat him down on a bench as he cried uncontrollably into his shoulder.

Neither of them spoke for hours. There was no need to. Blaine didn't need to know what was wrong. All he knew was that Kurt was hurting and he was there to hold him tight and try his best to protect him from any fears he had, even though he might not be able to.

After Kurt had stopped crying enough to take a good, deep, breath, he finally mustered up the will to speak. "He's back..." He whispered.

Blaine shut his eyes tight a he pulled Kurt closer. "Oh, god..."

Kurt buried his face into Blaine's chest. "I was so naïve to think that he wasn't coming back. How could I have been so stupid!"

Blaine shushed him. "It's not stupid. Hope is never stupid." Kurt picked himself up from Blaine's lap. "So what're you gonna do? You-you could always come and enroll here..."

Kurt shook his head. "Tuition's too steep. My dad's tire shop isn't THAT successful... And I don't want to run... If I run," He looked at Blaine's hazel eyes. "If I run, Blaine... That gives HIM the power. It means that HE'S the one who wins." He shook his head. "I'm not going to let that happen. I CAN'T let it happen."

Blaine nodded. "How about I drive you home?" He offered. "You uh... I don't think you should be driving right now."

Kurt smiled at him. "Thank you." He whispered as h wrapped him in a hug. "For everything."

XXX

Burt was pacing back and forth in his living room with Carole at the table and Finn twiddling his thumbs nervously on the couch. None of them had heard from Kurt since they broke the news about Karofsky being back to him. As soon as Quinn had told him, he started walking, then began to run out of the room, tears falling from his eyes.

"God, I hope he's alright..." Prayed Burt. "Jesus, Carole... What I he's out there? What if that-that monster found him when he ran out of the choir room!" He ran his hands over his cap nervously.

The front door suddenly opened to reveal Kurt and Blaine standing there in the doorway.

"Kurt!"

Burt ran towards his son and wrapped his arms around him, glad to see that he was safe. "Don't you dare ever, and I mean ever, scare me like that again! We were worried sick! I thought... I thought..."

"I'm sorry dad, it's just that... I heard the news and I kind of lost it."

Burt pulled away and put his hands on the side of Kurt's head. "It's ok... Just as long you're safe." Kurt nodded and pulled him back for another embrace. "Why don't you get some hot chocolate or something..." Kurt nodded again and went to the kitchen.

Burt turned to Blaine. "Thank you for bringing him home. And for everything you've done for him. Hell, most guys I know woulda been outta here a long time ago. You're a good kid, Blaine; You have a good heart."

"Thank you, Mr. Hummel-"

"Call me Burt."

"Burt... When uh, when does the trial start, by the way?"

Burt sighed. "Not till January... Still got about three weeks to go till he's put through even more hell." He shook his head and looked down at the ground. "I still can't believe that they let him back in there."

Blaine nodded. "Me neither..." They stood in an awkwardly comfortable silence for a few minutes before Blaine decided to follow Kurt in the kitchen.

He was at the stove, heating up some hot chocolate. "So, where are you taking me on friday?" asked Kurt.

Blaine looked at him incredulously. "You think you're up to it? I mean... You're ok?"

"I told you. I'm not going to let this control my life. I'm not going to let it stop me from doing the one thing I'm actually looking forward to... And that's going on our date on Friday... And by the way, I think it was really cute that you asked my dad for permission."

Blaine blushed and suddenly found his shoes very interesting. "Oh, um, yeah..."

Kurt laughed and waved Blaine over. "Here, have some cocoa and let's watch a movie."

"That sounds great."

They took their cups and sat down on the couch with Finn who was watching It's A Wonderful Life.

"It's It's A Wonderful Life," said Finn.

Kurt and Blaine looked into each others' eyes and smiled at each other. "Yeah," said Kurt. "It is..."

XXX

A/N: Blech! Why can't I refrain from cheesy endings? BTW, THEY RELEASED THE BOX SCENE! Hdjaownfkk hdkdkovkekcof jdosmxlldhfkso kfpelogotmsovjd kdjdlxnepkelx klsjdkdoedkdknc That is me expressing my happiness/ fangirlyness/ enthusiasm.

Guess what's up next! That's right, THEIR DATE! Reviews equal faster updates and more possibility of a Kliss ;) *Le wink wink*

Aly 3


	10. You're Not Lost

(10) I Won't Let Go

A/N: I'm sorry, please don't hate me! But... You know how earlier I said that the Warblers lost at sectionals? Well, yeah... You can just um... Disregard that... I know, I know... I have a problem with screwing with plots and consistency and yeah... But you watch Glee so you should be used to it. Right?... Just R&R and ignore my incoherent ramblings...

XXX

Kurt was at his locker, grabbing his spiral notebook for Algebra notes, when he heard an all too familiar voice creep up behind him. He'd managed to go all week avoiding Karofsky, and he knew it was just a matter of time till they met face to face again.

"Sup, faggot?"

He tensed immediately and stood there, paralyzed with fear. He couldn't breathe at all and... Oh god, no. Not again... Memories flashed through his mind again, his voice ringing in his ears. "I told you not to push me..." The sickening cracking sound coming from his head.

He turned to Karofsky and shook his head. "You get away from me..." he whispered fearfully.

"Or what?" Threatened Karofsky. "You'll get your buddies in HomoExplosion to sing me to death!"

"No," Said another voice. "But we sure as hell will kick your fucking ass!"

They turned to see that the voice belonged to Santana, followed by the rest of the New Directions.

"I think I can handle all you singing queers."

Santana stepped up. "Huh," she started. "You see, here's the deal... You stay and I crack one of your nuts- actually, fuck that shit. You don't leave our boy here alone and I'll crack BOTH your nuts, right after the rest of us finish beating your worthless, sorry ass up to a fucking pulp, which I think I speak for everyone here when I say that that is the least of what you deserve, you stupid, ignorant, bastard son of a mother fucking bitch."

He grunted and waved his arms at her. "Fuck you all!" He said as he turned and walked away.

Before anyone could say or do anything, Santana rushed to Kurt, who was still frozen beside the lockers, and wrapped her arms around him. "He's gone..." She whispered. "He won't hurt you as long as we're here, Kurt. I swear to god that I will go all Lima Heights on his ass if he ever comes near you again."

Normally, Kurt would have been confused by Santana's out of character compassion, but now... He just stood there and let her hold him.

It was then that he realized the only thing that kept him from falling apart was someone there with him holding him together.

XXX

Saturday rolled around and Kurt was going through his closet looking for a decent outfit for his date with Blaine as Finn sat on his bed, trying (and failing miserably) to be a fashion consultant.

"Are you sure about this, Kurt?" asked Finn. "I mean, are you, you know... Ready? Up for it?"

"I'm fine, Finn. Now which scarf looks better with my skin tone?" He asked holding up a green and red scarf on either side of his face.

"Um, dude, I don't even know what skin tone is... And stop changing the subject!"

Kurt threw both scarves back into his drawer as he rolled his eyes. "Blaine isn't going to hurt me, Finn."

"You don't know that, Kurt. What if he does?" His voice started to crack and Kurt turned to him. "I-I don't want you to get hurt again... And if-of there's anything-and I mean anything-I can do to stop it from happening again... And I didn't at least try..." Kurt sat on the bed next to him. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself, Kurt."

Kurt pulled Finn in for a side hug. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm going to be fine, kay?" Finn smiled a little bit at how strong his little brother (who was actually a few months older) was getting. He was looking like his old self again.

"Now which shirt looks better with this scarf?"

XXX

Blaine knocked on the door to the Hudmel household around one-thirty. Kurt was still upstairs getting ready.

Carole led him inside and motioned for him to sit on the couch across from Finn, who as soon as she left, began glaring at him. Blaine shifted in his seat uncomfortably as Finn gave him a stare down.

"You realize that if you EVER hurt him, I will personally castrate you with a rusty razor, right?" threatened Finn. Blaine was a more than surprised to find out that Finn even knew what "castrate" meant, but he was even more afraid of him now.

"I would never hurt him." he said. "Nobody deserves to go through what he went through, and I really do love him and I would never, EVER do anything to pressure him to do anything or hurt him ever. I just want to help him..."

Before Finn could reply, Kurt call running down the stairs. "Sorry for being a little late, my coif was acting up."

He came down the stairs and faced Blaine. "You look amazing."

Kurt blushed and smiled. "Thanks. So do you."

"So uh, you ready?" asked Blaine.

Kurt nodded and called out, "I'll be back in a little while, dad!"

Burt came out of the kitchen and smiled at them. "Okay, kid. Have fun!"

"Not too much fun, though!" called out Finn. Kurt laughed as he walked out the door and climbed into Blaine's car.

"So are you gonna tell me where we're going yet?"

Blaine shook his head. "Nope! Still a surprise..."

"Okay... Am I allowed hints?"

Blaine smirked. "Not hints, per say. But I'll let you ask questions about it."

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. "Hmm... Is it a cheesy date?"

Blaine laughed. "I guess it could be."

"Way to give it away," said Kurt as he rolled his eyes, the sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Just be patient."

They drove in silence until they came to an isolated park that was covered in newly fallen snow. Blaine parked the car and opened his car door to go around and open Kurt's. He smiled. "Thank you... So is this it?"

"Part of it." Blaine walked to the trunk of his car and pulled out an old fashioned wooden sleigh and a picnic basket. Kurt loved that it was so cliché, but with a minor twist.

"A sleigh?"

Blaine nodded. "Yep! You see that hill over there?" He pointed to a hill with a big oak tree at it's peak. Kurt nodded. "Well, when I was younger, Coop and I would take turns pushing each other and sliding down the hill on this sleigh. Christmastime was one of the few times we'd actually get along..." He looked at Kurt. "It's a little piece of my life, and I wanted to share it with you..."

Kurt smiled back and took Blaine's hand. "I love it... I love you... Now, let's go!" They ran towards the hill, hand in hand.

They'd been playing for about an hour and a half when Kurt pointed to a bigger hill. "Why don't we try that one?"

"You sure?" Kurt nodded and Blaine led them to the top of the hill.

Kurt sat at the front of the sleigh and Blaine took the back. Blaine laughed. "You ready for this?" he asked. "It could get bumpy!"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I think I can handle it," a chuckle in his voice.

They slid down the hill, screaming with glee. When they were almost to the bottom, the sled hit a root, or some sort of debris, and sent the two boys tumbling down the hill, one on top of the other.

Blaine was pinned on top of Kurt and they were laughing hysterically. "God, that was fun!" exclaimed Kurt.

"Yeah, it was!"

Their laughing abruptly stopped as they looked into each others eyes. Both had racing hearts and shaky hands. They started leaning towards each other.

Blaine was the first to close his eyes. Just when their faces were inches apart, Kurt closed his eyes. But as soon as he did, the first image that flashed through his mind was Karofsky grabbing his face, kissing him, and then throwing him against the wall.

Kurt screamed and flailed under Blaine until he was pushed to the side. "GET AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE! STOP MAKE IT STOP!"

Blaine scrambled towards Kurt and wrapped his arms around him until he calmed down a bit. Kurt's heart was still racing, but from fear. "Oh, god, Kurt... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry I'm a fucking idiot..." Blaine was trying in vain to choke back tears. "I didn't mean to... I'm so... SO... Sorry," he whispered, tears falling down his face.

"No." said Kurt. "I'M sorry-"

"No, Kurt!" said Blaine. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare be sorry! You have nothing to be sorry for." He faced Kurt and wiped the tear tracks from his cheeks. "Just... Don't apologize for something you didn't do. I still love you, even if I never, ever get to kiss you, or anything, but hold you and be near you."

Kurt looked at Blaine and buried his face into his chest. It had become so common for him to cry into Blaine, that it was a source of comfort as well. "I love you so much... You know that, right?"

"Yeah... I do..." he said. They sat there for a hood while as Blaine stroked Kurt's hair and held him close.

XXX

Blaine placed his car in park as they reached the Hudmel household. He got off to walk Kurt to his door, always the gentleman.

They stood there for a few minutes before Blaine turned to leave. But Kurt stopped him. "Blaine." He turned and was met with a pair of lips on his.

This time, when Kurt closed his eyes, he saw nothing but Blaine, fireworks, and nuclear explosions. His heart raced incredibly fast, not with fear, but with butterflies in his stomach. For the duration that they kissed, the rest of the world disappeared, because it didn't matter. In that moment, Karofsky was the last thing on his mind.

In that moment, neither wanted to let go.

Ever.

XXX

A/N: ...

I'm sorry for the date being so crappy :( that's all... I don't even DESERVE an Author's Note for that shitballs date... But I managed to make myself like Santana... I'm contradicting myself! This IS an A/N! CRAP! Guh... Well... This is the last time I write at one in the AM... Maybe...

Aly 3


	11. I Know It's Dark

(11) I Won't Let Go

A/N: I would like to give three special thanks to:

sarahamanda for managing to review on every chapter

MusicalRose1210 for making me laugh so hard with all her fangirlyness

And especially to Azaelia67 for telling me not to underestimate myself. It really made my day reading that review :)

XXX

Blaine walked through the doors of his house with a goofy smile plastered to his face. He'd just kissed Kurt Elizabeth Hummel the day before. Things were flipping awesome.

His parents were sitting at the table. "How'd your date with Kurt yesterday go?" asked his mother.

Blaine smiled and said simply, "It went great."

"You kiss him?" She was answered by the color rising to his cheeks. She smirked.

Blaine swallowed as the smile faded from his face and he took a seat next to them. "Mom... Dad... I-I want to ask you something... It has to do with Kurt." They nodded, a signal for him to go on. "I want to transfer to McKinley," he said quickly just before he added. "But before you say no, hear me out-"

"Yes." said both his parents at the same time.

He blinked incredulously at them. "Y-yes?"

They nodded. "We've been waiting for you to ask us," said his mom. "Kurt's going through a really tough time right now and he needs as much support as possible... He needs you. So we'll enroll you when the second semester starts in January."

Blaine threw his arms around his parents and thanked them. "Thank you guys a million times."

As Blaine headed up the stairs to his room, he hoped that things would get better for Kurt if he was with him more often.

He'd been lying in his bed for a few hours when he received a text from Kurt.

New Message from: Kurt Hummel:) : Meet me at the Lima Bean in thirty? *insert hopeful face here*

Blaine was in his car and out the door within ten minutes.

XXX

Kurt and Blaine sat at their usual table. "So, was there any particular reason you wanted to meet me?" asked Blaine.

Kurt shook his head. "No. Just wanted to be near you." Blaine reached across the table, grabbed Kurt's hand, and began stroking it. Kurt smiled. "So what're your plans for Christmas break?"

Blaine shrugged as he took a sip of coffee. "My parents are usually home for Christmas, but they can't always make it. I'll probably just stay at Dalton."

Kurt looked at him unbelievingly. "That terrible! You can't spend Christmas alone!"

"I'm sure there'll be a few guys staying at Dalton." Blaine assured.

Kurt shook his head. "I will not let you stay alone for Christmas. I'll ask my dad of you can stay with us!"

"You-you'd do that for me?"

Kurt nodded and squeezed his hand. "You'd do anything for the people you love."

XXX

A few days later, Kurt and Blaine were at Dalton, making sure Blaine had his things ready and packed to stay at the Hudmel household for the break. "You have everything?" asked Kurt.

Blaine nodded. "Uh, I think so... Let's see. Harry Potter books one through seven. Harry Potter movies one through seven. Pajamas. Toothbrush. Casual clothes. Normal clothes. Yep! Looks like I have everything."

Kurt pulled up Blaine's pajamas. "You have Harry Potter pajamas?" Blaine smiled and nodded. "You're such a dork." said Kurt with a chuckle.

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist. "But you love me."

Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt before they were interrupted by a familiar voice. "Hey, Blaine have you seen my- whoa!" Wes stood I'm the doorway with wide eyes. Kurt and Blaine quickly pulled away, their cheeks flushing.

"Ah, Kurt. You remember Wes, right?" Kurt nodded. "Yeah, Wes. This is Kurt."

"I remember you," said Wes. "Blaine never shuts up about his, and I quote, "Beautiful and amazing and all kinds of totally awesome, handsome, sings like a dream boyfriend". So are you excited for next semester?"

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. "Not really. Anything particular I should be excited about?"

From behind Kurt, Blaine was waving his arms around and mouthing "No! Shut up!" and bringing his finger to his lips, trying to signal for Wes to be quiet. But of course, Wes remained oblivious. "Well, for starters, Blaine's going to be with you at school."

Blaine facepalmed. "You're going to transfer to McKinley?" asked Kurt.

Blaine sighed and smiled lightly. "Yeah..." he glared at Wes. "But I was going to SURPRISE you on the first day back from break."

"Oops."

"But, why?" questioned Kurt.

Blaine shrugged. "You'd do anything for the people you love."

XXX

A/N: I know, I know. That chapter was crap, but I just needed a filler. I hate that awful feeling you get when you're writing a filler... Like wasted space but it's needed and just... BLURGLESMURF!

Last special thanks to Aperture Science Prototype for pointing out the spacing prob a while ago. I would have probably accidentally left it like that if it weren't for you :)

I just absolutely NEED to rant about the box scene getting cut from the S3 DVD so...

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU FUCKING CUT THE FUCKING BOX SCENE! YOU HAVE SEVEN MINUTES TO FOCUS ON A FUCKING PIG NAMED BARBARA BUT YOU CAN'T FIND TWO FUCKING MINUTES FOR THIS SO DESPERATELY NEEDED KLAINE SCENE! FUCK YOU, YOU WHORES! THIS IS COMPLETE BULL-FUCKING-SHIT! REALLY *THAT* WOULD HAVE BEEN THE *ONLY* DIFFERENCE FUCKING BETWEEN WATCHING IT ON TV AND WATCHING IT ON DVD! SERIOUSLY, YOUR SALES JUST WENT DOWN LIKE A BAJILLION FUCKING PERCENT! IF YOU NEEDED TO FUCKING CUT A MOTHER FUCKING SCENE, WHY NOT CUT ONE OF THE MILLION FUCKING FINNCHEL SCENES! I STILL LOVE THEM, BUT ENOUGH IS *ENOUGH*! WHEN IS IT *OUR* FUCKING TURN, HUH? HELL, WHEN IS IT *KLAINE'S* TURN! YOU HAVE CUT THREE MOTHER FUCKING KISSES THAT WERE SO DESPERATELY NEEDED! WHY ON EARTH COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST GIVEN US THIS *ONE* *TINY* PIECE OF FLUFF! PLEASE, FUCKING *EXPLAIN* WHY YOU WOULD CRAP ON US LIKE THAT! FUCK YOU, RIB, OR FOX, OR WHOSEVER *BRILLIANT* IDEA THIS WAS! -ALY OUT!

As you can probably tell... I was pissed. So, how do you all feel about the box scene being cut? Let me know because I need to know that I'm not the only POd Klainer out there...

Ps. Think we can get to fifty reviews?


	12. This Part Of Life

(12) I Won't Let Go

A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update... I had a bad case of writers block (I know where the story's going, just don't know how to get it there :/) and I thought that watching Glee could cure it (since it usually helps)... I picked the wrong episode to watch... Yep, On My Way (why I torture myself like that by rewatching such a heavy episode is a mystery to me)... Basically, I was bawling my eyes out and yelling at the TV for forty three minutes and it made it impossible for me to think anything bad of David Karofsky, who I actually like as a character ON THE ACTUAL SHOW, NOT HERE. Two different Davids... But yeah... My heart was breaking for him so I couldn't even hate him in this or any fic /:

And to add onto that, I sorta lost my will to write when my I left my iPod on the table and one of my brothers unlocked it an found all my Fanfics and laughed at them... Nothing major, but still kinda stung

And to add to THAT I had my iPod taken away for reasons that I would rather not discuss that involve my old geography teacher being a moron and my mother never believing anything I say...

And another thing, I've been EXTREMELY busy with a Family Reunion that involved my Quinceañera and lost of decorating and work and partying and saying hi to relatives from (brace yourself because my family is HUGE) *takes deep breath* Florida, New York, Kansas, Arizona, Oregon, Idaho, Mexico, Germany, California, and right here in Texas...

Anyways... I know that the story has slowed down a bit, and there might be less drama an a bit more Kluff (my word for Klaine fluff... Criticize it not por favor... I have an addiction with mashing up names of like, everything...) but I promise you that things will get more interesting plot-wise after Christmas(?) Ok, long, rambling blah blah blah excuses excuses... A/N over, on with the story!

XXX

Blaine dragged his suitcase through the door of the Hudmel household and up the stairs to Kurt's room. As he began unpacking, he asked. "Kurt, are you sure that your dad is ok with us staying in the same room now that we're..." He turned to Kurt. "What are we?"

Kurt walked up to Blaine, grabbed his hands and intertwined them. "In love?" he asked with a sheepish smile.

Blaine smiled and nodded. "Definitely." Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine. Blaine was fighting the urge to deepen the kiss. God only knew what could trigger Kurt's memory and make him flip out again. He couldn't live with himself if he kept continuing to be the cause of Kurt's flashbacks.

Kurt pulled away when he sensed that Blaine was tense. "Are you ok?"

Blaine nodded and swallowed, then shook his head. "I just keep remembering what happened on our date... I don't wanna do anything to make you uncomfortable..."

Kurt looked down. "I'm sorry." he whispered.

"What? No!" cried Blaine. He held Kurt's chin and slowly lifted it up until their eyes met. He shook his head. "That's not what I meant at all. I just... I want to make sure that you're completely comfortable around me."

"I'm only comfortable when you're around me."

Blaine smiled. "So, what do you wanna do?" he asked as they finished unpacking.

"Well," began Kurt. "The tree still needs to be decorated. Usually it's just me and my dad, but this is our first Christmas as a family, so maybe we could actually do this together," he said with a shrug.

"That sounds fantastic."

Kurt smiled and led him down the stairs by the hand where they almost crashed straight into Burt. "Whoa!" Said Burt. "I was just about to go see if you guys were coming down to help with the decorating."

"Funny thing, actually," started Blaine. "We were about to see if everyone else was ready to do the same."

Burt nodded. "Come on down kiddos," he twitched his head in the direction of the living room. "The rest of the family's waiting already." He paused and turned to Blaine. "That means you, you know? After all you've done... For us... For Kurt... You are a part of this family, Blaine."

Blaine smiled as he fought back tears. This meant so much to him. He smiled and wrapped a rather taken aback Burt in a hug. "Thank you Mr. Hu-Burt..." He released him from his grip and they all went to the living room where Finn was standing up the tree.

"Hey guys!" called Finn as he placed the stump into the water. "I'm almost finished setting it up, so as soon as I do finish, though, we can start decorating."

Just as he finished, Kurt smiled and pointed to the lights. "Finn, can you pass me those snowflake lights over there so we can start stringing them?"

"Sure thing," he grabbed the box of lights and handed them to Blaine who passed it over to Kurt.

Kurt opened the box and the five stood in a circle around the tree, passing around the lights as they strung them in a spiral motion.

With all the laughter and joy being spread around the room, if someone had been on the outside looking in, they might've thought they were watching a family movie instead of a tragedy.

Burt pulled an ornament put of a box and stared at it with his hand over his mouth for a while before his eyes began to water. From the back, Blaine could only see a smooth rectangular surface. From what he could make out, it seemed like some sort of picture frame.

Kurt, curious to see what it was, made his way to his dad's side where he too began to get emotional.

Slowly, the rest of the family gathered around them to see a picture of a younger Burt and a baby Kurt reaching up at his father's hat along with a woman who had Kurt's eyes and complexion laughing beside them.

"Is... Is that-?" questioned Blaine cautiously.

Kurt bit his lip as he nodded and leaned back against Blaine's chest. "That's my mom..."

"You ok, kiddo?" asked Burt.

Kurt nodded. "Can-" he looked up to his father with pleading eyes. "Can I have it?"

Burt nodded slowly. He knew Kurt didn't have many pictures of his mother, and almost none of them together as a family. He swallowed back the lump in his throat. "Um, why-why don't you guys uh, go upstairs... I think we're pretty much done with the tree."

Finn, Kurt, and Blaine all nodded and headed up to their rooms.

Blaine followed Kurt into his room. "Are you ok?"

Kurt nodded as he wiped his eyes. "You know," he began as Blaine sat next to him and wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders. "Life. Is. Insane..."

Blaine pursed his lips and nodded slowly. "I-if you don't mind my asking." he turned to face his boyfriend. "How... How did your mom..?"

Kurt sighed and looked down. He took a deep breath and looked back up at the ceiling. "She was on her way home from work one day. A drunk driver ran a red light and she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time..." He gave a halfhearted laugh and looked back down. "Must run in the family..."

"Hey... Don't- just try to stay positive. Keep your spirits up-"

"Yeah, because there's obviously a silver lining in this hellhole of a situation..." remarked Kurt, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Immediately, Kurt regretted taking that tone with Blaine. "I'm sor-"

"Don't... Don't say that you're sorry, Kurt. You have nothing to be sorry for." comforted Blaine.

He began to tremble and buried his face into Blaine's chest. "I don't even know anymore... I just don't know... It's all- it's all just too much... Sometimes I don't know if I can handle it."

Blaine pulled back and looked him in the eye. "If you ever-EVER-feel like you can't handle it, just..." He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "I want you to know that I will be here. Forever."

Kurt just nodded and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

XXX

Blaine's eyes fluttered open just as a ray of sunlight coming in from the blinds hit them. The first thing he realized was that his arms were wrapped around Kurt. He smiled and nuzzled his face into the back of his head, inhaling deeply the scent of the person he loved most.

His eyes shot wide open as a second through crossed his mind.

Christmas.

It was Christmas. He nudged his sleeping boyfriend a little. "Kurt. Hey, Kurt. Wake up. It's Christmas."

Kurt turned to face Blaine as his eyes fluttered open and he stretched. "Hmm." he smiled when he saw Blaine, hair natural, in his pajamas, excited smile on his face. "I already love my present." Kurt sat sat up and placed a hand behind Blaine's head. He pulled their faces together and kissed him. When they pulled away, Kurt smiled.

"Merry Christmas." Blaine smiled. "Cmon!" he twitched his head in the direction of the stairs. Kurt smiled as Blaine took him by the hand and they rushed downstairs.

Burt, Finn (it was a miracle that he was up before Kurt) and Carole were already waiting downstairs in a circle around the tree. She waved her hand over. "Come on boys! We're just about to open presents!"

With huge smiles, they sat down on the rug along with the rest of the family.

"Ok!" began Carole. "We'll each choose one present to open first, then, it's every man for himself! I'll open yours, Finn." she smiled sweetly at her son.

"Thanks mom." He smiled back.

"I'll open Kurt's." said Blaine.

Kurt smiled and decided to open Blaine's, Burt opened Carole's, and Finn opened Burt's. "On the count of three... One... Two... Three!" Everyone opened their gifts simultaneously.

Finn got a Call Of Duty game, Burt got Mellencamp's Greatest Hits album, Blaine got the entire DVD collection of Harry Potter, and Carole got a Make Your Own Cheesecake kit from Finn.

Kurt sat there, rendered speechless by the gift that sat inside the little red and green box. He swallowed and tears formed at the rims of his eyes as he pulled out the small, pink, heart shaped bottle from it's case. He looked up at his boyfriend with a smile. "Finn told me about how you'd go into your parents room to smell her perfume," explained Blaine. "I figured that after you moved-"

He was cut off by Kurt throwing himself and tackling Blaine in a hug. "I love it... I love you... And everything about you." He pulled away and smiled. "Here's to our first Christmas together."

Blaine returned the smile, his eyes filled with adoration and love. "The first of many."

XXX

A/N: ... ... ... Fuck it... I'm really REALLY sorry! I'm usually a hell of a lot better at Christmas things but I have no idea what the actual fuck happened here. So, that's it for Xmas :( up next is the start of the trial, which I've been looking forward to writing... Hopefully it won't be as shitty as the last two have been :(

Also, hey! Almost to 50 reviews! Yay :) 50th Reviewer gets special mentions and Klaine love!

On a happier note:

HOLY FUCKERS THEY RELEASED THE VIDEO OF THE BOX SCENE AND IT'S SO AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL! IT AMAZING AND JUST AgBZfdkwoakHjdhalDk IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, GO SEE IT, NOW! ITS PERFECTLY IMPERFECT! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS BUT... I FUCKING LOVE YOU RYAN FUCKING MURPHY! (i had no acces to a computer so yeah this is a AN from the past)

Review? (even though I don't deserve it):


	13. I Will Fight Your Fights

(13) I Won't Let Go

A/N: The trial has come :L anybody else as nervous as I am?

Also, I'm terrible at making up names, so sorry if they sound really cheesy and crappy.

Ps. Is anyone still reading this? Because I know I went all AWOL for a few months and the last three chapters were complete shit but... Anyone? I understand of you've lost interest in this story :/

XXX

I Will Fight Your Fights

Burt kept pacing back and forth in his best suit in the DAs office, waiting for her to come into her office.

"Dad," said Kurt. "Will you please sit down? You're going to get your heart all worked up."

"My heart is fine," he lied. Physically, his heart was in decent condition. Emotionally, though... Burt sighed and took a seat. "I'm just nervous. I have no idea how this is going to blow over." He looked up and looked down, twiddling his thumbs and wringing his hands.

In the room, also waiting, were Finn, Carole, and Blaine.

Finn shook his head. "I've actually got a real good feeling about this. There's a plethora of evidence against him and even if there's not as much as it seems, I think you're a much more credible source..."

Kurt stared at him unbelievingly. "Did you just say plethora?"

"Really!?" cried Finn. "Out of all that, all you got was that I discovered what plethora means?"

Everyone had shadows of grins on their faces when the prosecutor handling Kurt's case walked into the office. She was a tall, thin, attractive woman—no more than 35—with dark brown hair and rectangular, dark framed glasses that sat on her pale freckled face.

"Hello, Mrs. Garner." said Kurt with an awkward smile.

She smiled back at him. "Nice to see you again, Kurt." Inside, she flinched. It was never nice seeing a victim, or a case, for that matter, like this one. She looked around the room. "I just wanted to warn you that there is a good chance that many of you will be called to the stand as witness characters, considering that all we really have at this point is DNA. Usually, that would he enough, but when you have a forensics team as unreliable the one here in Lima, the defense attorney will usually try to debunk it's credibility."

They all nodded. "We'll do whatever it takes," said Finn, taking in a deep breath.

Blaine felt a hand reach down and intertwine with his own. He didn't need to look to see that it was Kurt's. He had already memorized the way it felt in his hand. Because when you had someone as special an perfect as Kurt, you wanted to memorize every last detail, as if it mattered.

Janet Garner closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled. Not much happened here in Lima. Crime was low, especially high-profile cases like this one.

And with one last encouraging look towards Kurt, she lead the way out of her office and into the double door that lead to what would surely be one of her toughest cases ever.

XXX

"Rape..." said Janet Garner. The room was completely still in it's silent anticipation. "It is an especially cruel and heinous crime that Kurt Hummel was sadly a victim of."

Kurt blinked back tears as he looked down at his feet at the bottom of the pew behind the prosecution table, where he, his family, and Blaine sat. Blaine leaned in a little and gave him a small smile that said "it'll be alright". Kurt returned the gesture with a smile and a small nod.

"Kurt is a good student. Straight A's until recently, key member of his Glee club. He is fluent in French and has rarely gotten into any sort of trouble with his father or any other adults, and has no rap sheet or record of any kind. Why would an honest and kind student like Kurt lie about being raped? What would he gain from it?

"On the evening of November 22, David Karofsky, sitting right there at the defense table, forced himself and committed sexual assault against Kurt Hummel.

"Kurt Hummel has been through a lot in his life. Too much for a kid his age, if you ask me. He lost his mother at the age of eight, has been teased and called names, thrown in the dumpster, shoved against lockers... And now... This... He deserves to see justice at least once in his short life. Please, help him see that justice."

She turned away and walked back to the prosecution, sending a challenging look towards the defense table. As she took her seat, the defense attorney stood up.

"Andy Monarch for defense of David Karofsky... Mrs. Garner here says that Kurt would gain nothing from crying rape against David Karofsky." He took a look around. "That's not necessarily true.

"David was Kurt's long time bully, and crying rape would easily stop the harassment. I am in no way condoning the bullying that David has admitted to doing, but the fact is that there is no law against bullying here in Ohio, and the fact is he did not rape Kurt Hummel.

"David Karofsky was also a straight A student until recent events. He was an active part of this community and a part of the football team at his school. This is his first run in with the law, if you can even call it that." Blaine's fists clenched. The nerve of him, trying to belittle what Karofsky had done. "He should not be considered any less of a credible source than Kurt Hummel. If anything, Kurt Hummel should be considered the non-credible source here."

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. Whoa, whoa, what?

"In fact, though our motion to dismiss the case was denied, the defense would like to file a change in pleas. 'Not Guilty by Reason of Mental Defect or Insanity.'"

"Objection!" cried Garner as she stood up, firmly placing her hands on the table. "The defendant David Karofsky has already proved that his mentality is healthy enough for court!"

"Oh, I'm not questioning my client's mental state..." said Monarch simply. "I'm questioning yours."

XXX

"What the hell just happened out there?" asked Kurt with a whimper in his voice. Garner had called for a recess immediately after Monarch had motioned to change his plea. But she wasn't quick enough and the judge granted the defense's motion before granting her recess. The trail would continue the next day.

"The defense filed to change their defense plea. Basically..." she gave everyone else—Blaine, Finn, Carole, Burt—weary glances. "They're claiming that you're not sane enough to file a complaint against Karofsky. That the rape never happened or that-that it was consensual, I-I-I don't know what they're planning..."

Burt shook his head. "That is complete bullshit! We took Kurt to a therapist! There is absolutely nothing wrong with my son!"

She gave him an apologetic look. "I know, he was diagnosed with PTSD, but I'm pretty sure most of the jury members aren't familiar with it and the defense will use that to their upmost advantage. I've dealt with Monarch before. He's ruthless. Manipulative. An asswipe..."

Kurt blinked back the hot tears that were forming at the rim on his eyes, to no avail. Blaine stood next to him and wrapped his arm around him. "What does this mean... For our chances of winning?" asked Kurt, creating a silent and tension filled atmosphere.

Garner bit her lip and shook her head. "I don't know..."

XXX

Kurt walked down the north wing of McKinley, just like he did everyday since the new semester had started, waiting to meet Blaine (and occasionally Finn) so they could walk to Glee together.

But unlike those other days, he suddenly felt a pair of familiar arms push him into the lockers. It had been so long since the last time he'd gotten pushed, and had it been last year, his shoulder would have been used to the pain. But it had healed by now and been unconditioned.

It met the metal with a sickening pop and he cringed up his face in pain, he took in a sharp breath of air, feeling like the pain had knocked the wind out of him. He reached across with his right hand and grabbed onto his shoulder in a vain attempt to stop the throbbing. His shoulder stung and he tried not to cry. He leaned back against the lockers, breathing deeply in and out with his eyes shut, and slid to the floor.

"Kurt!?" asked a worried voice. Kurt swallowed back a lump in his throat.

"Oh my god, Kurt!" said a second voice. Kurt opened his eyes to see Blaine and Finn running towards him. "Are you ok?" asked Finn.

Kurt nodded. "I'm fine it's just my shoulder."

"You sure you're fine?" asked Blaine as he patted his hands all over Kurt, checking for bruises and contusions. Blaine's hand barely even grazed his shoulder and Kurt let out a sharp whine.

"Aw shit..." said Finn. His eyes narrowed. "This was Karofsky wasn't it?" he growled.

Kurt hesitated before answering. "Yes but just let it go, Finn. We've got enough-"

"Like hell I'll let it go!" he stood up and took off in the direction he last saw Karofsky leave.

Blaine quickly helped up Kurt and as soon as he saw his boyfriend was fine, took off after Finn. He was seething, too. "Where are you going!?" cried Kurt.

"After Finn!"

Kurt let out an exasperated whine and, still clutching his shoulder, took off after them both.

Finn, who had a pretty good lead on the other two, caught up with Karofsky easily. Finn grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to turn and face him. Karofsky sneered. "What the hell do yo-" He was cut off by Finn's fist smacking across his jaw. Karofsky clutched his throbbing cheek.

"That's for raping my brother!" screamed Finn.

"What the FUCK!?" cried Karofsky.

Blaine had just arrived on the scene. Finn shot another punch in his gut. "And that's for being a lying!" Punch.

"Finn!" screeched Kurt as he arrived, shoulder still throbbing.

"Pathetic!" Punch. "Sorry excuse!" Punch. "For a human!" Punch. "Being!" Punch.

Karofsky doubled over and clutched his gut. Finn backed off for a fraction of a second, breathing shakily. Karofsky suddenly pushed Finn up against the lockers. "You wanna go at it, Hudson!?" he yelled.

Finn pushed Karofsky back until they both slammed against the lockers on the other side of the hall. "Yeah! I do!" he yelled back. "You and me, settle this shit here and now!"

Karofsky started throwing punches at Finn and Blaine ran towards the two fighting boys. He meant to break them up, but when he was this close to the person who had completely fucked up Kurt's life, his anger nearly took over. He kept his cool for a little while as insults were thrown both ways, still trying to get Finn off of the bastard.

But the moment when one of Karofsky's flying fists landed square on his face with a smack... That was when he lost it. The group of taunting kids yelling "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" had suddenly quieted down.

It was as if the hit made it all click.  
>Kurt had been raped.<br>By him.

Instead of breaking down, Blaine charged towards Karofsky and tackled him to the ground, taking Finn with him. The three wrestled on the ground and Blaine used some fight club skills he hoped he would never have to, throwing repeated punches at his face as Finn hit his gut.

They rolled around like that for a few more seconds. Blaine had gotten hit in his gut four times and twice in hid face. Finn had taken considerably more blows, but Karofsky had probably taken the most hits.

Suddenly, Blaine felt a firm pair of hands grab his shoulders just as his fist was retracted, ready to strike again, and lifted him off of Karofsky, and heard a deep "ENOUGH ALREADY!"

Finn had been lifted up as well and so had Karofsky. Sue, Mr. Shue, and Coach Beiste had all finally interfered.

"Alright!" Yelled Beiste. "Everybody out! Get outta here! Show's over!"

Karofsky yanked his arm out of Beiste's firm grasp. "Aren't you gonna expel Hudson or anything? He hit me first!"

"Well, as I recall," began Sue. "You were the first to hit curly fries over here, so if Hudson's getting expelled, then so are you. Nobody likes a hypocrite, David."

He scoffed. "This is bullshit." he muttered.

"Watch your mouth!" warned Mr. Shue.

"It's not fair!" exclaimed Karofsky. "They should be punished!"

"You know what?" said Sue. "I am getting sick, and tired of your attitude Karofsky." She pointed down the hall. "Now get to class before I turn you in for truancy!"

He scoffed again, but just walked away. He just didn't even care anymore.

When he was out of ear and eyeshot, Mr. Shue gently placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Are you ok?"

Kurt nodded. He suddenly turned to Blaine and Finn. "What the hell were you thinking!?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," scolded Mr. Shue. "You guys are lucky you didn't break anything!"

"I don't care whether or not I break anything!" shouted Blaine. "He was... He shoved Kurt and I..." He choked on his last words, tears forming at the rims of his eyes. Kurt reached down and grasped Blaine's hand.

Finn looked down at his shoes. "I'm just so tired of Kurt's life falling to shit all the time..." he turned to his brother. "I-Kurt, I know—I KNOW—that I haven't always been there for you and you've always been there for me and I'm just a complete douchebag and I-" He looked up with tear filled eyes. "I was just trying to make up for it before it's too late."

"Oh, Finn-"

Kurt was cut off before he could even begin to reply. "I hate to ruin a perfectly fluffy family moment, but Porcelain, I want you to know that Beiste and I will be conducting random drug testing on our athletes this Friday."

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. "Um, coach Sylvester, why- um... How is that relevant to anything?" He questioned.

Beiste smiled. "It's going to be a non-routine one, so it can be done by drawing blood."

The three boys had blank, expectant stares.

"Which contains DNA..." filled in Mr. Shue with a light smile.

The gears in Kurt's head began turning.

"And as soon as that blood goes into storage, it becomes property of the school, meaning that it is eligible to enter as evidence in an ongoing trial." finished Beiste.

Kurt swallowed back a lump in his throat. "Thank you..." he finally managed to choke out. "But... Why?"

"What do you mean why?" asked Mr. Shue.

"Because you helped the Cheerios win Nationals last year." said Sylvester. She gave a small smile towards Kurt. "Kurt..." she began. Everyone froze. This was the first time Sue had ever called him by his actual name. "It's because we care about you."

"Exactly," began Will. "We're a family here in Glee club. You should know that by now. I, and everyone else in there, loves you, and we're willing to do anything to protect you."

Kurt threw his arms around Mr. Shue and everyone else. Finally, he just let all the tears fall. Sweet release, that great feeling you get when you're surrounded by people that you love and love you back. He just stood there, holding his brother, boyfriend, former coach, friend of the Glee club, and his instructor and cried.

Only this time, they were tears of joy.

XXX

A/N: Ok, so this is one of those chapters I'm actually kinda ok with. I mean, I don't think it was complete shit like the last three!

Also, have any of you seen The New Normal? If you haven't, GO! Whether or not you think it's future!Klaine, it's still an amazeballs show! There's a free download available on iTunes! And if you have seen it, what did you think? Did you laugh out loud? D'aww? Cry? Cause I did all three!

Review? Pretty please with CrissColfer on top?


	14. It Feels Like That

(14) I Won't Let Go

A/N: First things first, thank you all for Keeping Faith (that's the name of a Jodi Picoult book. She's the author of My Sisters Keeper and my favorite author! If you haven't read one of her books go do it!) in this story! I got like SEVEN reviews on one chapter which is like ASDFGHJKL! AMAZEBALLS!

Also I got a review from BowtiesAndCoffee saying that the ending of the last chapter made them cry! I am so sorry! I would cheer you all up with some fluff, but the next few chapters are gonna get real angsty... And music will be involved soon!

The Fray (2 songs)  
>Florence and The Machine (1 song)<br>Rascal Flatts (2 songs)  
>Sara Evans (1 song)<p>

Who do you think will sing? What will they sing? Will anybody even sing? What's up with all my rhetorical questions?

Any guesses?

Ps part of why this update took so long was because I lost my iPod for a few weeks... It was in my tennis bag the whole freaking time...

3

XXX

Kurt sat in the pew. In that dreadful place called a courthouse. Where Karofsky's trial was taking place.

He sat there and all he could do was stare at him in a trance, a million questions racing through his mind. How could he sit there, so calm, knowing what he did to him? Why would anyone want to defend a case like this?

His eyes watered as a final thought crossed his mind. Why?

His final thought was interrupted by Garners voice. "The prosecution calls Kurt Hummel to the stand."

Kurt swallowed and inhaled deeply. As he stood up, he felt Blaine grab his hand and turned to see him giving an encouraging smile. "Courage," he whispered.

Kurt nodded, walked up to the stand and took his oath.

"Mr. Hummel," began Garner. "Can you please recall what occurred on the day of November 22nd of last year?"

Kurt closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "I was raped... By David Karofsky..." he said, not opening his eyes.

"Can you elaborate on the order of events in which they occurred?" she pried. Of course, they had gone over this routine numerous times.

Kurt finally opened his eyes. "I was making my way to Lunch, replying to a text from Blaine... When David came and smacked the phone out of my hand and threw me against the lockers.

"I followed him into the locker room to confront him and... Pretty soon, we were yelling in each other's faces. The last thing I said was 'You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are' and he grabbed my face and... He-he kissed me..."

The room was completely silent with anticipation.

"He um... He tried to kiss me again, but I pushed him away..." Kurt's steady breathing became more rapid. "He..." he shut his eyes again, but the memories from that day kept playing over and over again like a terrible horror movie stuck on repeat. "He grabbed me by the collar and slammed me up against the lockers and said 'I told you not to push me'... I told him to think about what he was doing and he threw me against the showers where I hit my head and..."

"And then what?" she gently asked.

"He raped me..."

You could hear a pin drop in that courtroom.

Garner let the words and the silence sink in before taking a good look at the jury and saying "Nothing further..."

Monarch stood up as she was sitting down and walked right up to Kurt. "You claim that he threw you against the showers and that you remember him grabbing you by your collar, correct?"

Kurt nodded. "Yes."

"And you hit your head against the showers?"

"Yes..."

"You needed head surgery that day Mr. Hummel did you not?"

"Yes, but just to stitch up a cut."

"Is it possible that this little bump on the head could have disoriented you momentarily?"

Kurt hesitated before answering. "I- I suppose so but-"

"And is it possible that what you remember as David Karofsky pushing you up by the collar was actually him trying to save you from falling?"

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows. "That's not what happened."

"How can you be so sure about that Mr. Hummel, when that bump on the head nocked you out cold?"

Blaine stood up with his hands balled into fists. "That's not fair!"

Judge Robinson banged his gavel. "Mr. Anderson please control yourself! I would regret to be forced to remove you from the premises."

"... I-I..." Kurt sat there, feeling like an idiot with his mouth hanging open and nothing coming out.

"Mr. Hummel, please answer the question..." pushed Monarch.

"I can't... He finally answered."

"Mr. Hummel, is it possible that maybe in your confusion you misinterpreted things and because of your history with David, your subconscious decided to cry rape?"

"What!? No, that's outrageous!"

"So your saying that it's not possible that your memory could have been altered by that bump on your head?"

"No!" Kurt almost yelled.

"Are you implying that your memory is somehow superior to anyone else's, because I've seen memories be altered by far less injuries? And yours hasn't exactly been proved exceptional at this point. Especially considering your extenuating circumstances..."

Kurt was just waiting for the straw that would break the camel's back. That didn't even make sense! Or did it? The pressure was getting to him and he was ready to burst into tears any second now...

"Objection!" cried Garner standing up. "Badgering the witness!"

"Sustained, Monarch, watch your tone," warned Robinson.

"Let me rephrase that. Mr. Hummel, can memories be altered or inhibited by large blows to the head?"

"... Yes..." his voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hummel, i don't think the jury heard you, could you pease speak up?"

"I said yes!" Kurt finally yelled, his voice cracking with a mixture of anger, pressure, sadness, and frustration, tears finally running down his face.

"Nothing further, your honor."

XXX

Kurt sat at the Lima Bean after that horrible and humiliating cross examination, waiting for Blaine to meet him for their coffee date.

He was browsing through the baked goods menu when the seat next to him became occupied by an unfamiliar figure. Kurt looked up from his menu and came face to face with a smirking face that resembled that of a meerkat's.

"Please tell me you're single." said meerkat face. "But even if you're not..."

"I'm not," Kurt replied quickly. "I'm taken, and happily so."

Meerkat face shrugged. "Doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you." he said as he snaked his arm around Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt shot him his best bitch glare and immediately flung his arm off of him. "Well it does bother me! And you know what else bothers me? Strangers putting their arm around me like its nobody's business, when they have no fucking right to touch me!" Kurt's chest rose and fell heavily and his eyes watered a little bit.

"Well, my name's Sebastian. There we're not strangers anymore." he smirked at him and Kurt scoffed. "Wait a second..." Sebastian's eyes narrowed. "You're that basket-case that says he was raped! Aren't you!?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"My, my, a bit feisty! It's ok. I like it like that..."

Kurt was just about ready to explode into tears. He'd had enough harassment in school and by that lawyer. He didn't need it here, too.

"I suggest you leave my boyfriend alone before I kick your sorry ass."

Sebastian turned around to face Blaine. He whistled, eyeing him up and down. "And you would be..?"

"The boyfriend of the boy you've been harassing." he hissed. "And I'm flat out telling you to leave... Now..."

He threw his hands up in sarcastic surrender. "Ok, ok! You guys win!" he got up and started walking towards the door. He swiftly turned around, lowered his head and whispered in Kurt's ear "Just know, I'll be there when you guys break up, because you will... Considering the fact that you can't give him what he /really/ wants..."

Blaine didn't hear what he'd said, but Kurt had heard it clear as day. And try as he might, he couldn't wipe it from his memory.

"You ok?" asked Blaine.

Kurt shook his head as he lifted his head to face his boyfriend's, meeting his gaze with broken eyes. "Can we please just go home?"

He pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah, come on..."

XXX

As soon as they walked into Kurt's room, Kurt threw his arms around Blaine and began sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Blaine."

"What!?" cried Blaine, shocked by Kurt's outburst.

"Sebastian was right..." he cried. "I'm never going to be a good boyfriend because I can't... I don't know if..."

Blaine took Kurt by the shoulders and pushed him back a bit so he could look at him.

"What if we can't ever /be/ together like /that/ because of what happened..?"

Blaine shook his head and pulled him back into his embrace. "What makes you think that makes a difference?" he began. "I meant what I said that day on our first date. I don't care if I never get to do anything kore than just kiss you or hold your hand. That's not important to me. What's important to me is that you're happy. You're safe. And that no matter what, you feel loved... /you're/ what's important to me..." he finally finished, wiping the tears off of Kurt's face with his thumb.

Kurt smiled through the tears. He leaned forward and kissed Blaine, wrapping his arms around his neck. Blaine leaned in to deepen the kiss, and when they finally needed air, they broke away.

They smiled at each other. "I love you..." whispered Kurt.

"I love you, too."

"You will be happy, Kurt." Blaine smiled. "I'll make sure of that, even if it kills me. Because you deserve it."

Kurt smiled. "I would never be happy without you, so don't try too hard."

They laughed together and sat down on the bed. Eventually, they laid down and Kurt nuzzled his head in the space between Blaine's head and shoulder, peacefully drifting off to sleep.

Yeah, things were going to be fine.  
>Or so they thought...<p>

XXX

A/N: this is what happens when I write at 2AM and try ending on a cliffie...

Yeah, I know it sucked but... I have a bit more planned and hopefully I won't lose my iPod again and I have time and all that jazz!

Review? Pwetty pwease? *puppy dog eyes*


	15. When You've Done All You Can Do

(15) I Won't Let Go

When You've Done All You Can Do

A/N: you guys are going to absolutely fucking hate me...

XXX

When eighth period athletics rolled around on Friday afternoon, David was expecting it to go like any other day: warm up, agilities, run through the plays.

But the system had other plans.

Beiste came into the locker room, hands on her hips. "Alright!" everyone stopped in their tracks and gave her their undivided attention. "Random drug test today! Nobody dress out, everyone make a line outside the nurse's office! Pronto! Hope none of you are afraid of needles!"

Karofsky froze... Wait... WHAT..? If they had his blood... They'd find out wouldn't they... The truth behind everything...

Finn saw the horrified expression on Karofsky's face and couldn't help himself. "What's wrong, Karofsky?" he asked angrily. "Afraid you'll finally be exposed for the liar that you are? Afraid that there will finally be proof of what you did to my baby brother?"

David stood there in utter shock. He was about to be exposed, so having a good comeback to Finn wasn't exactly a priority at the moment. "I-I... I have to go... Get in line..." he said lamely, looking down at his feet.

He hurried out the door and ran right into Coach Beiste. "Hold up there Karofsky!" her tone was almost hostile. She didn't know Kurt too well, but he seemed like a good kid. And in any scenario, he'd been through some pretty horrible things in his short life. "Alphabetical order..." she said, calming herself down.

He nodded obediently and placed himself in order.

"Wait, there's gonna be needles!" he heard Finn yell from a few people in front of him. "Ahahaha," he forced some uncomfortable laughter. "Screw that!"

"Hudson, Finn!" yelled the nurse.

"What!? What, no, no I don't like needles, I don't- I don't wanna-I can't!" he yelled shaking his head furiously. Finn Hudson did not like needles... The nurses had to practically drag him into the room to draw his blood.

On any other day, Karofsky would have taken the chance to poke fun at Finn. But today, he felt like he was waiting in line to be executed, which, once everyone found out, might as well have been the case. There was no way out of the mess he'd gotten himself into...

"Karofsky, David!" yelled out the nurse. He swallowed hard and walked into the sterile white office, he might as well take what was coming.

"Here, take a seat David..." he sat down, and she stuck the needle deep in the skin of his forearm. He watched the container fill with blood. Just as she finished placing it in the rack, they heard a riot starting outside. She sighed exasperatedly. "Wait here."

He waited patiently as she went outside to break up whatever fight had been started. He looked at the rack filled with the blood samples. They had little slips of paper attached to them, to identify the blood sample with names.

A thought crossed his mind. A dark thought...

He quickly got up and rushed to the rack. He found his quickly and took the little slip off his container. He scoured the other containers that had the same blood-type labeled as his for a familiar name, and when he found it, attached his name, and placed the name on the one with his blood. He'd done a swap.

He ward the door open and close and quickly rushed back to his seat before the nurse was back.

She shook her head. "Noah, Finn, Artie, Sam, and Mike got in a fight with some of the other guys. Had to go break it up. A couple black eyes, nothing to serious. You're free to go, though."

He nodded, grateful to be freed.

He walked outside and saw the Glee guys looking just the slightest bit proud of themselves, and Langanthal, Azimio, and a few others with already forming bruises and black eyes.

He narrowed his eyes at Finn as he passed him, who gave him a death glare back.

Boy, was someone going to be really surprised at their test results.

XXX

"God dammit, Finn!" scolded Kurt. "I told you to be careful! You can't go getting into fights like this!" He turned and faced the rest of the Glee guys. "None of you!"

It was in Glee club after school, and Mr. Shue was running a little late, and when Kurt heard about the fight, he took the opportunity to give the guys (minus Blaine) a piece of his mind.

"We're sorry, dude." said Sam. "We'd just had enough of their bullshit."

"I don't give a crap!" he shouted. "Those guys are dangerous, believe me I know!"

"They were just trying to help..." said Tina.

Kurt sighed, exasperated. "I-I know." he brought up his hands to his temples. "I just don't want any of you to get hurt..."

Finn stood up and gave Kurt a big hug. "I'm sorry... I promise it won't happen again..."

"Thank you," Kurt gave his brother a hug back.

"Anytime soon," continued Finn.

Kurt gave a laugh and shoved him aside. "Seriously though, guys..." he gave them a glare.

"We got it, dude." said Sam with a nod. "No more fights."

Kurt smiled his thank you and took a seat next to Blaine. "Kind of disappointed I didn't get to punch his face in again, to be honest." said Blaine.

Kurt gave his boyfriend a serious glare.

"Kidding!" he remarked, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "Sort of..." he smiled lightly at Kurt and took his hand in his own, wrapping it gently. "I guarantee that seeing him put in jail will bring me so much more satisfaction than kicking his ass."

Kurt rested his head in the space between Blaine's head and shoulder. "Are you ever afraid of losing?" he asked seriously. "Because I'm absolutely terrified."

Blaine turned and kissed the top of his head. "There's not a doubt in my mind that we will win this..."

XXX

"Your Honor," began Monarch. "The defense would like to enter new evidence immediately."

"Objection!" said Garner as she stood up. "The defense has failed to notify the prosecution of this information! By law they are required to bring forth all evidence in advance!"

"Actually," said Monarch. "The prosecution is not allowed to withhold evidence, however, the defense in many cases have been allowed entries as late as the closing statement."

"Your Honor-"

"I'm sorry Ms. Garner, but Mr. Monarch here is correct. I'll allow it."

He flashed a sly grin that reminded Kurt of an eel. Particularly the two evil ones from The Little Mermaid.

"The defense would like to enter this evidence from the forensics department that shows the DNA from the crime scene does not match the sample taken from my client a few days ago at his school." he stated. "In fact," he raised his eyebrows an paused for dramatic effect.

"It was a 89% match to Finn Hudson's."

XXX

"What the _fuck_ is going on!?" cried Kurt.

Garner had called for a recess and Blaine, Kurt, Carole, Burt, and Finn all followed her into an empty room. "Finn," said Garner. "Are you sure you told is everything that happened that day?"

"I-Wha- Y-yes!" He yelled, completely shocked that the prosecutor would think that.

Just then officer Jones came in. Finn's face fell and he felt sick. They couldn't arrest him could they? He hadn't done anything wrong!

"Calm down, son." she said, noting the terrified expression on his face. "I'm not here for you."

"What happened?" asked Garner.

Jones shook her head. "I don't know..." she stated truthfully. "There's nothing wrong with the labs that we know of."

"Is there any way we could get the tests thrown out?" Pleaded Kurt.

Garner shook her head sadly. "I'm really sorry... But considering the fact that it was the prosecution's idea... I just don't see that happening..." At Kurt's defeated look, she spoke up again. "But that doesn't mean we're going to give up!" She pointed a stern finger at him. "The defense is going to try to get him off by the benefit of the doubt. Right now, all they have are those test results and they're going to try and get that jury to think it was Finn... We have to do everything we can to prove otherwise. Those results basically render any evidence gathered from the rape kit useless. All we have are your testimonies as character witnesses..."

She looked around the room, glancing at each and everyone of them. "We are going back out there... And we have to be prepared for anything..."

XXX

A/N: again you guys should know that I suck at endings... Sorry it was kind of short I didn't know if putting Finn's testimony (coming up next) would have made it too long? Idk :(

Review? :D


	16. Too Small To Stop The Rain

(16) I Won't Let Go

A/N: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS IN THIS CHAPTER! (Im sorry): for depictions of self harm on the final scene. I'll do a brief summary of what you missed. But if you don't want to read it, just skip to the A/N at the end right after the song finishes

XXX

"Can you please state your name, age, and occupation for the record?" Said Garner.

Finn breathed heavily. The whole trial was riding on his testimony. Whether they won or lost... That was on him. "My name is Finn Hudson, I'm seventeen, and I dot have a job because I go to school... Though I do help Burt out at the shop sometimes." He forced a small smile.

"And what is your relationship with Kurt Hummel?"

He smiled. A real one this time. "He's my little brother."

She nodded understandingly. "And where were you on the day of November 22 of last year?"

The smile faded. Nobody wanted to remember any member of their family the way Kurt was that fateful day... "I was at school, and when eighth period athletics came around, me and some other guys from glee came in the locker room and found him... Lying there..."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Objection," said Monarch. "Relevance? Your honor this is a courtroom not a therapists office."

"Approach the bench, counselors." Said the judge.

"If the defense claims Finn was the perpetrator," began Garner, but Monarch cut her off.

"The defense never said that, though the tests may imply it..." He trailed off.

She scoffed at him. "Fine, if Finn is being taken into consideration as a suspect now, then it is the prosecution's duty to find out and reveal his emotional state at the time he was aware of the situation. Finn is not capable of hurting his brother. I'm just trying to show that."

"Objection!" Said Monarch.

"What now!?" Groaned Garner, growing exasperated.

"Finn Hudson is not the one in trial right now, therefore, his innocence should not have to be proven. Whether or not he is capable of hurting his brother is irrelevant! Oh, and we've come full circle haven't we?"

Garner had never been in a fight before, but she was always open to expanding her horizons... "If Finn's innocence does not need to be proven, then the blood-work should be thrown out, showing as it implies his guilt. If there is no innocence to be proven, then there should be no guilt implied. You want to remain objective, we'll remain objective..."

"In afraid Mrs. Garner is correct, Mr. Monarch," said the judge. "Either allow the question, or withdraw the blood tests from evidence. Your choice."

He sighed and glared at Garner. "I'll allow the question."

She smirked at him. He wouldn't have tried so hard to get the question thrown out if he thought it wouldn't have an impact on the jury. She whirled around and faced Finn. "Again, before I was so rudely interrupted, how did that make you feel?"

Finn swallowed. "It made me feel useless... And it hurt me to see Kurt so... Vulnerable... Since he's usually so strong about everything." He breathed deeply and closed his eyes. "You haven't experienced true fear, or true pain, until you've seen a family member lying in the ground in pain, not even knowing if they're alive or not. Until you've waited at the hospital, just hoping and praying to a god that you don't even believe in that he will be ok. Until you look at yourself in the mirror everyday and hate yourself because you never got there in time." His voice bobbled, but it wasn't until he looked up and glared daggers at Karofsky that everyone could see the tears. Karofsky shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "When you've experienced that... And you still think I could do that to my brother, then come talk to me..."

Garner looked over to to the jury and saw an older woman wiping her eyes. That was a good sign. "Your witness," she said quietly.

Monarch stood up and slowly clapped three times. "Bravo!" He said. "You put on quite a show, Mr. Hudson! You should be an actor!"

"Objection!" Yelled garner. "Is there a question here?"

"On with the point," ordered the judge.

He threw his hands up in mock surrender. "So, you consider yourself incapable of hurting your "little brother"." He used air quotes for effect.

"Yes," said Finn firmly, scowling at the lawyer.

"Emotionally and physically?"

"Well, I hope I don't hurt his feelings with my stupidity, I can't really vouch for that, but physically, no... I wouldn't hurt him... Or let anyone hurt him..."

"Were you incapable of hurting him in freshman and sophomore year when you and your buddies tossed him into the dumpster on a daily basis?"

Finn froze and gaped at him. "I- that was different... It was a different time, I didn't know him, we weren't friends back then..."

"What about all those times you shoved him into a locker, and threw pee balloons at him?"

"I'm not denying that, I'm just saying I'm a different person now. Are you saying that you've never made mistakes? That you don't have regrets? I was a stupid kid alright!?"

"What about that time you called him a fag?"

You could hear a pin drop in that courtroom. One juror looked flat out disgusted.

"Were you incapable of hurting him then?"

"No, I wasn't, but I-"

"Then why should we believe you were incapable now?"

He left Finn on the stand, mouth hanging open in utter shock.

"No further questions... And the defense rests."

XXX

"Why are they taking so long?" Asked Kurt desperately.

Garner shook her head. "I don't know, these deliberations, they can take five minutes, or they can take five weeks. Maybe there's just one juror who is stuck on the not guilty verdict and that's why it's taking so long."

"Or it could be the other way around..." Whispered Kurt.

"Don't think like that," reassured Blaine. He ran his thumb over Kurt's hand. Kurt looked up at him and nodded.

Just then, the jurors files back into their seats one by one. Kurt froze. This was it. This next decision would be the biggest one of his life. And it wasn't even his to make. That's what made it so terrifying.

"On the charge of aggravated sexual assault..." Said the leading juror. Kurt stood up and held onto the pew for dear life, holding his breath. "We the jury, find the defendant, David Karofsky..."

The moment of truth...

"Not guilty."

Everything around Kurt shattered. He didn't hear his dad shouting in anger. He didn't see the juror who had started crying at Finn's testimony look down at the ground in shame. He never saw Karofsky's look of confusion. He didn't hear the judge's gavel banging on the desk. He didn't remember Blaine grabbing his arm, and him pulling away, and sprinting out the doors.

All he could feel was his faith in humanity failing, his heart breaking.

The next thing he did remember, was being in his car, parked on the side of the road, face buried in the steering wheel as his body shook with sobs. On the radio, a familiar song played.

**_Consider this_**

**_Consider this, the hint of the century_**

**_Consider this, the slip_**

**_That brought me to my knees, failed_**

**_What if all these fantasies come_**

**_Flailing around_**

**_Now I've said too much_**

**_That's me in the corner_**

**_That's me in the spotlight_**

**_Losing my religion_**

**_Trying to keep up with you_**

**_And I don't know if I can do it_**

**_Oh no, I've said too much_**

**_I haven't said enough_**

**_I thought that I heard you laughing_**

**_I thought that I heard you sing_**

**_I think I thought I saw you try_**

**_But that was just a dream_**

That's when Kurt slammed his fists against the radio. "Shut up!" He screamed. "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" His hands shook almost as bad as his voice and he cried some more into his hands. He looked to the sky, pleading to a higher faith that he'd given up on so long ago. "Why?" He pleaded. Simple and hushed. "What did I ever do to deserve this?" When he was answered by silence, he screamed. Louder, at the top of his lungs as he banged the steering wheel with his fists once. "TELL ME WHAT THE _FUCK_ I DID!"

The tears ran down his face until his head was pounding from crying so much. He was exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

He opened the glove compartment and reached around until he found what he was looking for.

It was a knife he had kept in there for protection. No, he didn't want to just cut himself...

He flat out wanted to die.

He felt like he had no life left to live anyways.

So he did something he thought he'd never do. He pressed the knife against the skin on his wrist until he broke the skin. He hissed a bit, stunned by the sting. Then, slowly he pulled it closer to him, making long vertical cuts up to the crook in his elbow. He'd learned that in biology... Veins ran vertically, and you bled out faster with cuts in that direction.

Tears poured down his face faster, mostly due to the pain from the knife. But as he finished his other arm and slowly his eyes drifted shut, he realized that it would all be over soon. Other than the sting of his cuts, he just felt sleepy. The world around him began to fade, and he realized, he could probably just pretend this was all a dream. And he was just going to wake up, and everything would be back to the way it was before.

_**But that was just a dream**_

Finally, he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer,they fluttered shut, and all he could see was black, darker than the injustice he'd experienced that day.

_**Just a dream...**_

XXX

A/N: if you skipped the trigger warning, basically Kurt is in the car and he tells at the radio to shut up and cries some more. He finds a knife and cuts himself (because he wants to die) until he passes out. (Or he could be dead we don't know do we) (should I kill him?) (idk) (maybe?)

And that's it.

Hmmm should I go on a hiatus? ;)

Review? :D


	17. It Cuts A Path

The funeral was small and quiet. Just the Glee kids and Sue, Mrs. Pillsbury and Mr. Shue. Rachel was the one who suggested they sing a song in his honor. She suggested I Want To Hold Your Hand, Finn suggested Being Alive (he'd seen it on a cd cover in Kurt's room a few times) but Blaine knew the perfect song, and when he suggested I'll Cover You (Reprise), from RENT, no one opposed him...

A/N: Nah, I'm totally screwing with you guys! *u* how many of you fell for it? MWAHAHAHA I FEEL EVIL

Moment of maniacal laughter over... I think this is when music will be a bit more involved because well it is glee and I like music ok?

Also sorry for the super long wait I lost my phone a couple times... And this go deleted like twice.

On with the story!

XXX

It Cuts A Path

Kurt wasn't at home. Of course, that was the first place they looked. Blaine was the one who offered to go looking for him. "I'm coming with you," said Finn. Blaine knew not to oppose him. He could use the help anyway.

"We're gonna go looking, too," said Burt. "By splitting up we can cover more ground..."

"If either of us finds him," began Finn. "The first thing we do is have one person call the other two, and if needed, call the cops or the paramedics..."

"God forbid," muttered Carole, praying that they wouldn't have to call the paramedics.

All four headed out the door, Finn and Blaine heading out in Blaine's car. Burt and Carole in Burt's truck.

"Where we going?" Asked Finn.

"I... I think I'm going to just drive around... We can cover more ground by doing that." The last sentence came out more like a question. Truth was, Blaine was as terrified as he was clueless. He had no idea what he was doing, or if he was ready for what he'd find, for that matter.

"Ok," Finn said softly as they got into the car and drove off.

_God knows where he could be_ he thought as he drove. _He could be missing! Lying in a ditch somewhere, Or his car broke down and he could be-_ Blaine shook his head, trying to shake those thoughts out as well. "No," he said to himself through gritted teeth, griping the steering wheel tight.

"I know what you're thinking," said Finn after a few moments of silence. He gave his sort of brother-in-law a sympathetic grimace. "I know cause... Cause I'm thinking the same thing..." His head lolled down, he stared at his lap. "We have to find him..." He whispered.

"And what if we don't?" Choked Blaine.

Finn looked at him solemnly. His eyes suddenly widened. "THERE!" He shouted, pointing to the right side of the road. Blaine slammed on the breaks, afraid if he didn't he might miss it. On the side of the road was a car.

Kurt's car.

Blaine pulled off the road and hopped off the car, not even bothering to turn off the ignition. He full out sprinted towards the car. "Kurt!" He breathed. He reached the drivers side and opened the door, completely unprepared for what he saw next.

"Oh my god."

Blood trickled down both of Kurt's arms, deep red cuts running vertical. Kurt laid there, passed out. His head was lolled lifelessly to the side, his pale face paler than usual. He looked like a ghost. "Finn!" Blaine screamed. "FINN!" He placed his fingers on Kurt's neck feeling for a beat. Blaine felt a tiny throb against his fingers, but he was unsure as to whether it was just in his head or really Kurt's.

Finn came rushing over. "Holy shit," he breathed when he saw the scene. There was an odd feeling at the back of his throat, like fingers pressing down on it, and his legs felt shaky, like he'd just run a mile nonstop. A wave of nausea hit him, and his face looked a combination of emotions.

"Give me your shirt," said Blaine. Finn didn't even hesitate, or question Blaine. He peeled off his shirt, leaving a on only an undershirt, and gave it to Blaine. "Call the paramedics and Burt and Carole," Blaine instructed as he tore the shirt in two, wrapping the cloth around Kurt's arms and applying pressure. He tied them off, trying to prevent any further blood loss.

When he finished, he placed his hands squarely in Kurt's shoulders and shook him very gently. "C'mon Kurt. Wake up. Say something. Anything." When he was answered with silence, his face crumpled and he shook his head. "No," he whispered. "Come on Kurt! Anything!"

Anything would have been better than the silence that filled the small space where Blaine was having a harder and harder time breathing with each passing second.

"Please," he begged one last time, his voice barely a whisper, a whimper in fact. Again, he was answered with silence. Blaine hung his head downward, still praying that Kurt would wake up. "Please, god, please. Please."

Just then, Kurt's head twitched slightly. "Blaine?" Kurt's eyes stayed shut, but that was enough for Blaine.

He rushed and grabbed Kurt's hand. "I'm here..." He said.

The paramedics pulled in to the scene, and Blaine slipped his arm under Kurt's back, carrying him to the gurney at they set it up. Every second he waited for them to come to the car was another second that Kurt lost blood. Thankfully, the paramedics seemed to understand.

"Which one of you is riding with us?" One of them asked. A woman with blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. "Family members only, I'm afraid. One of you family?"

Finn and Blaine looked at each other, then back at the paramedics.

"He is," lied Finn. Blaine gave him a surprised look. "He's his stepbrother, I'm just... his friend..." Blaine smiled at him and nodded gratefully.

"Thank you" mouthed Blaine.

The paramedics gave each other looks that suggested they knew the truth, but they didn't say anything.

He stepped into the ambulance and sat helplessly as they attached his boyfriend to IVs and various tubes.

One of the worst things in the world is watching someone you love suffer, and knowing you're not able to do anything about it.

He hung his head down between his lap, the whole time, just thinking, _Please, god. Please don't take him away. Let him be ok..._

_Don't let him die._

XXX

The next time Kurt was aware of his surroundings, he was in a sterile hospital room, lying on a bed. There was a familiar mechanical beeping noise perfectly synchronized with his heartbeat. Memories of the previous day came flooding in.

The trial.

The car.

The song.

The knife...

He swallowed. In all honesty, he still felt like utter crap, but the magnitude of what he had just tried to do was just sinking in.

_Oh my god_. he thought. _I really tried to kill myself. I really could've been dead_

He sat up, instantly regretting it when a wave of nausea and lightheadedness overcame him. He groaned and gripped the little railing in the edge of the bed with one hand, the other rubbing his temple.

Suddenly, a familiar figure was next to him, holding his back reassuringly. "You need to rest," said Blaine, coaxing him to lay back down.

He did, and faced Blaine. "I'm sorry..." He whispered.

Blaine grabbed his hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing it gently. He shook his head. "You don't ever have to say that to me, ok?"

Kurt nodded, biting his lip and pulling Blaine in for a hug. Blaine's fingers curled in, trying to pull Kurt closer. Just the idea, the thought, that he might've never given that hug to Kurt was absolutely abhorrent.

They pulled away and gave each other a small smile.

Just then, Finn, Burt, and Carole walked in. They all rushed to his bed. "You're up, kiddo!" Said Burt, almost falling to tears from relief. Burt pulled his son in for a tight hug. "God knows what I would've done if I'd lost you..." He pulled away. "They're gonna keep you here on 48 hour watch, but you've been asleep for a while now, so..."

"How long have I been out?" Kurt asked.

"Long enough to scare the absolute crap out of us," said Burt solemnly. He had been so scared that his little boy would never wake up. "They brought you here yesterday evening... It's about one in the afternoon." He forced a chuckle. "You get to go home tomorrow, at least."

Kurt couldn't believe he'd been out that long. "Did I really..." His voice trailed off. He needed absolute confirmation that he really tried to take his own life because... It all felt so surreal. He never thought he'd do something like that.

But then again, he'd never thought he'd be attacked either.

Burt nodded sadly. "Yeah... You did... And that's ok, kiddo. You were going through a really hard time. I just want to know you'll never try that again. And if that's a promise you can't keep then we'll find help. We'd do anything to keep you safe."

Kurt nodded and pulled his father into a hug. "I know..." Was all he could manage as he choked through the tears.

Burt nodded silently. He rubbed his sons back. "You just get all the rest you need, Kay, kiddo?"

Kurt nodded, and everyone filed out, Burt at the lead. Blaine got up from his seat, but was held back by a tug on his wrist. Kurt had grabbed him. "Please, stay."

Blaine smiled earnestly. "Gladly."

XXX

Blaine heard the rustling of blanket sheets later that night. His eyes fluttered open, then shut tightly.

He heard the rustling becoming more violent, and his eyes popped open in realization.

Kurt was about to have another night terror.

"No," he heard him say. Then, "No!" Louder this time.

Within seconds, Kurt was thrashing in his bed, Blaine rushing to his side. He was just about to grab him to calm him when he remembered the cuts on Kurt's wrist. What if he made them worse trying to calm Kurt down?

Blaine decided he couldn't risk it.

He pushed the button and within seconds, nurses rushed in and gave Kurt a sedative. This was all too familiar for Blaine. He promised himself that he'd never let Kurt go through this again, and yet, here he was, watching just as helplessly as before while his boyfriend thrashed around in terror.

He'd never felt so useless.

XXX

That same day, Karofsky was walking the halls of McKinley High when he heard voices in the hallway whisper things that stopped him in his tracks.

"The one that says he was attacked..."

"Something about a suicide attempt..."

"He's in the hospital right now..."

There was no denying who they were talking about, and in the end, David knew he couldn't hide that he knew the reason Kurt tried to kill himself. He couldn't even lie to himself and say he didn't understand how one person could feel so shitty that they'd do that to themselves.

And the guilt just kept building up inside him, like a tumor that was slowly sucking the life out of him.

It got even worse the next day, when Kurt was back at school. For a half second, he got to see the bandages on his arms, covered up by long sleeves. He'd done that to him.

But the absolute worst was when Kurt had the inconvenience of having to use the same hallway as him. The pale boy took one look at him, his face crumpled, an so did he, right into Blaine's arms. Karofsky so desperately wanted to say I'm sorry, but what good would that do?

XXX

"Please, let's just go around..." Kurt whispered to Blaine. They'd just ran into Karofsy, and the last thing Kurt wanted to do was look at him, much less use the same hallway as him.

Blaine nodded, guiding him around until they came to the hallway with the choir room. When thy walked in, they were greeted with the sight of Finn and Rachel standing at the front of the room, a stool in front of them.

Blaine led Kurt to the stool and sat him down. "What's going on?" He asked warily.

Finn was the one to answer him. "We all talked about it... And we've decided that we're not letting you deal with this alone. It's not much, but we're gonna help you cope in the best way we know how..."

Kurt scoffed. "I don't need help coping." He said.

"Kurt..." Rachel said softly. "You tried to kill yourself..."

"And what, you don't think I know that?" He crossed his arms, leaning towards her. "I said I'm fine, alright!?"

"Just listen," Finn said. "That's all you have to do..." He pointed to Brad, who started playing a familiar intro.

(Quick note:** Finn** _Rachel __**Both**_)

**Step one – you say, "We need to talk."**  
><strong>He walks, you say, "Sit down. It's just a talk."<strong>  
><strong>He smiles politely back at you<strong>  
><strong>You stare politely right on through<strong>

Kurt glared at them. He understood what happened, what he did. He didn't need help coping.

_Some sort of window to your right_  
><em>As he goes left and you stay right<em>  
><em>Between the lines of fear and blame<em>  
><em>And you begin to wonder why you came<em>

**_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_**  
><strong><em>Somewhere along in the bitterness<em>**  
><strong><em>And I would have stayed up with you all night<em>**  
><strong><em>Had I known how to save a life<em>**

**Let him know that you know best**  
><strong>'Cause after all you do know best<strong>  
><strong>Try to slip past his defense<strong>  
><strong>Without granting innocence<strong>  
><em>Lay down a list of what is wrong<em>  
><em>The things you've told him all along<em>  
><em>Pray to God, he hears you<em>  
><em>And I pray to God, he hears you<em>

Kurt bit the inside of his lip to keep it from trembling because, god dammit, he was not going to cry.

_**And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend**_  
><em><strong>Somewhere along in the bitterness<strong>_  
><em><strong>And I would have stayed up with you all night<strong>_  
><em><strong>Had I known how to save a life<strong>_

**As he begins to raise his voice**  
><strong>You lower yours and grant him one last choice<strong>

He began to shake as the memories of Karofsky shouting and slamming his fists against the lockers raged through his mind.

**Drive until you lose the road**  
><strong>Or break with the ones you've followed<strong>  
><em>He will do one of two things<em>  
><em>He will admit to everything<em>  
><em>Or he'll say he's just not the same<em>  
><em>And you'll begin to wonder why you came<em>

**Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend**  
><strong>Somewhere along in the bitterness<strong>  
><strong>And I would have stayed up with you all night<strong>  
><strong>Had I known how to save a life<strong>

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend_  
><em>Somewhere along in the bitterness<em>  
><em>And I would have stayed up with you all night<em>  
><em>Had I known how to save a life<em>

_**How to save a life**_

When the song was over, Finn and Rachel made their way over to Kurt and wrapped him in their arms.

"Things are gonna get better, I promise." Finn murmured.

Kurt prayed to the god that he didn't even believe in that he was right...

XXX

A/N: wow ok so yeah I haven't updated in forever sorry about that I suck I'm sorry...

It was really hard for me to get the ball rolling again for this chapter but I think I managed to do an ok not so horrible job...

Next chapter: a small group featuring three female singers and a Florence + The Machine song, another song by the fray playing on the radio, and a dark secret of David's is revealed...

Any guesses?

Adios! Until next time!


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